BlueGurl's Story

Can i be more happier? =)

2012-02-16T02:54:00.000-08:00

Okay..
Maybe some of my friends think i' m just lying to myself, but i am happy!
Just the way i am!
Not because i follow what people want me to be.!

And boy, was glad that today you never texted me.
Because, mister, i don't give a damn about relationship right now.
I care about my family, and my studies plus my friends.
I don't mind being friends like you, but i just realized that all of my friends texted me like twice,thrice a week.Not everyday like you!
So now, that you've stop all this, i can say that i am damn happy as if i could bounce off the clouds that i've been to.!
=))
I want freedom not tightness that been held because of this.
And boy, i damn happy urh!
The most important thing that i need to do for now is to study hard and get to what i really want!
=)
hopefully i can! =D
I don't wanna think about relationships etc because, i have parents that i have to take care first.
And to have a boyfriend, means i have to sacrifice..
I don't want to sacrifice first.
I wanna enjoy freedom as a student, and a teenager. =B
=)
So, for now, i don't care!
Study,study,study@!

I don't shop so, to save up money is always in my mind. =)
I tend to do papercrafts whenever im stressed..
And, i tends to blast up my music to my earpiece and put them into my ears whenever im pissed off, angry, stressed, or just to make myself inspired. =) it's kinda weird right?
Hm... yup.! I'm weird!
And im proud to be so! haha!
Okay, science blog will be dead if i did not update it right?
Gonna update now!!
Bubbye!!

2012-02-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

Seriously..?

I don't wanna be tied by your friendly-ness..

What does being a friend to you?
Does it let you ask personal questions etc..?

No, right?
What the hell is wrong with you?!
Damn, i hate this feeling!

You're being overprotecting!
And, as a friend, i mean a friend. I don't like to be overprotected by someone like you!

Once it's fine but days passed?!

2012-02-10T04:07:00.000-08:00

it's been a week since i accidentally met him...
and im trying harder than i thought, to forget about him.
but how, when he keeps appearing like out of nowhere?!

sigh...
falling in love is the toughest thing for me to conquer..

can i don't fall in love?

about yesterday, i had no idea what happen ...
it's just like, there!
but i really felt very annoyed and irritated by someone..
we're in the same class and yet you're laughing at him?
he need some attention unlike others so just do your own thing will you?
stop all this sour faces going on around here!

okay!
seriously, i got no mood to talk.. i can only be communicated through book.

2012-02-07T05:08:00.001-08:00

im just half way through it and then you came up upon me again..
Why is it that every time im halfway forgetting you, you came up to me again..?
it's hard you know!
=(

2012-02-06T04:30:00.001-08:00

Now i'm afraid to fall in love.

Love,love,love...
Why must you interfere in my life..?
Now?
After i've tried so hard to forget about it.?
Damn!
I hate this feeling!
im confused!

[HQ]Guang Liang - Tong Hua (Song Only)

2012-02-04T02:16:00.000-08:00

For some reason, this is the only song that i understand its meanings.

2012-02-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

it's been a week.
And it's hard.
But just move on.
Life goes on with or without you.
Forgetting you is hard but seeing you is damn hard!
I think, it'd be best to forget you.
=)
I'll never let anyone else try to open up my heart ever again.
Once was enough but for the second one?
I'll just pretend that i'm just foolish. =)

never been in and never been out.

Just focus on studying that's all i care for now.
After that, i'll try to study again and again till i get what i want.
Finding a part-time job also a good idea.
After all that, i'll stop.
And find it.
Giving all my trust.
yep, that's what i'll do.
be more positive!
=))

...................

2012-02-01T05:44:00.000-08:00

Isyh!!

Ever since i heard about it, i can't stop thinking but all i want is to forget you!!
But it's hard!!
My heart and soul is like in a different place!!
I don't even know what's happening!!
Love is indeed confusing.!

I'm not ready for it. I need to back out now!
I will try my very best to forget you okay!
I won't ignore you we will still be friends okay!
Just ttm.. =)

sigh... soon perhaps..?

2012-01-24T06:10:00.001-08:00

sigh...
this chinese new year thing happening around.. and yet i nvr visit them at the centre... been so busy lately..!!
sigh..
another time soon i guess???
miss them so much!!

okay!!!
good night..=)
i still need to organize my school stuff...
=)

2012-01-23T00:48:00.000-08:00

not to give up is what i've always said but, the truth is , can i just give up..?!

will it just satisfy your thirst watching me fallen apart like this?!

yeesh!!

just stop making me confused ..=(

you keep making me feel confused with my feelings..

how is this going to affect me?

Whenever you're hanging out with me and your classmates, i get the feeling that you're concerning bout me.

But when we walked pass that day, i smiled at you, and yet you don't give me a reply.

It's just been two days since we've seen each other with our friends and then now you're giving me an attitude face..?

sigh...

i'm disappointed.

Cause, to me, if a smile is shown onto your face, it shows the warmth and lightens up my day.

Plus, smiling is a basic courtesy..

You should at least reply me back with a smile. =*B

sigh...

i'll try my best to ignore you then..

just like how you ignore me.

Smile like nothing's wrong.

=))

smile widely! =D

okay..

bubbye!

2012-01-17T21:16:00.000-08:00

hm....
i think i finally got my answer to the questions that i had in my mind..

my heart beats faster and faster due to the anxiousness that i had whenever i look at him.
my chest felt tight whenever i see the person is because, i felt the pain before and wished that i had been the one that was hurt.

hm.. that's my answer..
okay!
class started...

2012-01-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

Is it really true that, whenever you see the person that you like, your heart beats faster..?

Is it true that if you see the person you like hurt, you will feel tightness in your chest..?

Sigh....
I just made a fool out of myself....
=(

I fall to the ground on the pathway in front of my friends... =(
Worst is, they just laugh... Another one helped...
thanks for the help..

Sorry about just now, i don't feel comfortable just now so yup.. =*(
So sorry..
Maybe cause i made a fool of myself...
=(

okay...
nite!

2012-01-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

i hate you...

hard to speak up when there's no one will listen..

the feeling when people stare at you and yet you don't know what it is, sucks! =d

i love you...

it's easy to say but it's not easy to shoot it out.

the feeling when you're caught yourself smiling to your phone when there's a text message from one of your best friend, it's hilarious! =D

okay. shall end it here.
nite!
tired.
can't be bothered to talk .

2012-01-11T06:28:00.000-08:00

Open...Close... Open... Close... Open close..
Before you knew it , it's already been a week since school open..
And to make matter worse, a fever came into your life at the moment when you really really don't want it..
hm... just great!

today lesson....hm.. where should i start..?
i think, i'll buy my books tomorrow... depends on my $$.
=)
Too tight.
so need to save up little.
that's life.

There's a time when it goes up and then a time where it will go down..
After spending 4 hours in a cold room, finally it was lunch.
Fever,fever, why are you in my life..?
Will you please get the hell out..?
Okay.
Happy birthday to my friend!
May all her wishes come true. =)

Alrites!
Good night!
Damn tired ttm.. T_T
Nites

2012-01-10T02:25:00.000-08:00

im not looking forward to it anymore..
sigh.. this year, i guess i'll be less talking...
damn tiring...
wake up early, sleep late..
everyday like this how can?!
nite!
will be sleeping damn early today.
=)
tmr end late. =(
still have yet to finish my library book.. =(

My Heart Skips A Beat following the rhythm of the music.... =')

2012-01-06T22:55:00.000-08:00

To: Whoever read this,

Good Afternoon!! =)
Seriously, my heart beat faster and faster as day pass by..
Maybe because i can't wait for school to reopen or maybe im too excited for another surprise...
Had a feeling you'd be in the same class as me but let's not follow these feelings shall we?

I had lots of bags.. And all of them are backpacks. =)
Sorry urh, I'm not a handy baggy person...
Backpacks are good for school!
100% guaranteed!!
I can fit lots of stuff!!
Pencil case, a diary, a novel, a calculator and some folders that had papers inside them. Plus, a notebook!
=))
And so, i had to choose...
Between 5 bags, the one that i love to use is only red, and it has a plus sign on it.
Unfortunately, it's torn.. But i've make it up in order that i could use it again!
Strawberry!!
I wish i could travel to almost half off the world if i had money.
But, i would just dream about it everyday while saving up money.
One night, i can dream lots of things.
Like, im stuck in a forest filled with broken furniture and houses breaking apart out of nowhere. And somehow, it makes me woke up every night.
But, since it's a new year, i had dreams that makes me feel blessed. =)
And that is dreaming of all my families and relatives are together and have a fun day outing. =)
So, in order to keep that dream, i have to study harder and save up more money! =)
JY!! JY!!
I can do it!
My heart skips a beat whenever i listen to Christina Perri - A thousand years =)
really..
Anyway there's lots of commotion going on about Ombak Rindu?
I've watched it ..
Im just not satisfied about the show so i think i'll buy the book!
=)
For some reason, this year will be a do it yourself year!
I've wrapped my own notebooks with some 'expired' magazines. Plus some paper that i no longer used.
Really! Recycling is one of the things you can do for our home~
=))
Recycle people! Recycle! =d
OK!
Bubbye!

Yours Truly,

Dalilah.

2012-01-03T06:16:00.001-08:00

I just wanna scream!!!
Can i be more happier?!!!
Now, i'm looking forward to school!!! ^_^||
I wonder how my lecturer looks like?
Hopefully, he won't be so..... =)
Okay!!

2012-01-03T03:34:00.000-08:00

Something's not right.
But i don't know what it was.
Maybe it's just a feeling.
But why is it every time, i often get confused by these two worlds?
One is reality and another was a fantasy.
It's like a dream that i've never been into.
hm...

back to reality.......
i almost finishing cleaning up my study room..
I plan to put out a mat where i can put all the cushions and just lay there to read, write, dream, nap,etc.!

okay..
i can't wait to go to school next week!
=)

im beginning to like and proud of my name which is Dalilah.

i used to get bullied because of my name but when i found out that this was given by both of my parents and grandparents, i felt proud! =)

2011-12-29T06:14:00.000-08:00

this is not the first time...

why you keep lying to your own friend..?

i felt like a fool..

i guess im a fool.

wanna know something,?

i got scolded from my sis because of my stupidity .

which is hurtful enough. cause i think it's true.

i think, i must be firm towards friends now.

because of my kindness, you lied to me.

because of my kindness, you overstepped me.

i can't say anything cause i don't wanna get both parties to get hurt, but im hurt.

it's not you. but it's me who got hurt.

Again i was hurt.

*tears rolling down*

i can't stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks, and i can't stop my eyes from swelling up tomorrow.

all i can say, is let me give you around of applause shall i?

Applause for making me hurt .

Applause for making my tears rolling down my cheeks..

And, thanks for making me cry. thanks.

i should just say, im sucked at friendship, cause i allow the other party to feel superior and making him/her won . and i lost.

to me, i can't be bothered on quarreling.

so, i'll just keep quiet. =)

enough to make everyone happy?

Say Goodbye to 2011 .... Say HELLO to 2012

2011-12-27T02:52:00.000-08:00

Okay!
So here's my new resolutions next year.!

I'll try my very best to do it yup?!

1. Instead of keeping quiet, i'll speak up.
2. Instead of just trying to ignore about certain things, i'll try to find out more about it.
3. I'll try to be a good girl in your eyes.
4. I'll try not to be annoying to my sister.
Lastly, i'll try my very best to write here and not forgetting my science blog!

So do look out alright!

Saying goodbye to 2011 is quite tough due to some circumstances but that does not mean i won't say hello to the new year!!

Yep. Too much bitterness, too much sweetness, too much saltness. If you added it all up?
What will you get?
A new lesson to be learnt.
And i've learn quite a lot..
=)
I've learn not to gave up on hope and also to speak up more.
Well, im halfway on the speaking up but i'll try harder..?
=)
Im wondering what kind of classmate will i have in my new class...?
Will they be like my previous class?
Or will they be awesome?
Hm...
One way to find out is to wait for the school to reopen..
sigh...
need to wait for a while...
ish...

I've never gone out quite a while and when i did, it's like everything changed quite a lot..
The place i used to called home is no longer what it looks like.
It has changed.
Politics,politics, shoo,shoo,shoo!
Troubles keep coming tawu!
=(
Hm... Hopefully everything will be okay next year!!
=))
I believe in you!
I trust you!
But trust needs to be earn! =)

2011-12-23T03:48:00.000-08:00

New spectacles!!
=))
Im a nerd! haha!

Okay, so here's the pic..

I look weird right..?
Haha!
I must always wear my spectacles or else my degrees will increase!!
=(
So, must take care !
=))
bubbye!

2011-12-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

Im not perfect.

Im not that smart.

Im not that cool,

but does that gives you the right to hurt my feelings?

God!

I don't even know what im feeling.! Is it sadness or calmness?!

My tears came down at the wrong situation and urh!

i realize something.

That when im still trying to move on, there's still a part of me that does not want to let go of the past.

I do admit that i wished that i could just forget those past, memories and wanna start a new beginning but at times, i just don't want!

Hm.. im getting confused here.....

For some reason, i just hate my attitude, my personality.

I can't speak up even if it would make others satisfied.

Im good in listening and im good in keeping quiet whenever im surrounded with a bunch of people that i had no idea with whom im hanging out with.

Sadness,Anger,Hatred, is just at my fingers... Im trying hard to put some happiness into my mind but i can't.

I wish they would go away and just ignore me.

Cause, both parties will get hurt this way. And then the cold war will start again.

And then it will become a cycle.

A life cycle.

Im so happy that i can't speak!

2011-12-22T02:52:00.000-08:00

Hey!!
Remember that i said that im too scared to know the results..?

I had checked it out...
Andd, i PASSED!!
I manage to get into Wireless Lan!!
=))

Alhamdulillah!!
Praise to Allah!!
=))
So now, im gonna sit back and enjoyy my holidays!!
=D
Happy Hoooolliiddaayyss!!
=D

2011-12-20T21:24:00.000-08:00

How could you do this to your own family?

How could you even fooled your own mother?!

She's your mother for goodness sake's!
It's your own problem if you're in trouble but, don't implicate your family too!!

How dare you fooled your mother and now look what you've done?!
All the mess that you've made!

The person that will be clearing all the mess that you've made is none other than your family for goodness sake's!

Please uh, grow up can?
You're already married, so you should think maturely.
I'm just your half-cousin.
And i am ashamed of what you've done.

Now people tried to contact you also had some difficulties, cause you were nowhere to be found!
Damn you!
You made the mess, you clear it up can? Don't pass it to other people!!

You commit it, you answer it.
What?
You're a scaredy-cat?
Scared to admit to your mistakes?
Or, you are guilty of it and decides to run away.?
Mind you, you can't go out of the country cause you need to scan your passport and then lastly, you'll be caught red-handed by the police.

Next time, please think of your family whenever you do this stupid stuff!
You can work instead of borrowing money from _________.
It's either you were lazy or , you were too pampered by your husband.

Whatever it is, do this one more time, and you'll get it from me. You ran away after all this happen.? Coward!
Coward!
Ashamed >_<||

2011-12-20T03:26:00.000-08:00

when i fall and hit the ground, are you the one who'll be there to help me up?

I know everyone will change but, to me, you're trying to act like you're somebody else.
Somehow, it hurts my feelings and you may not even know it.

You only care about yourself. You don't care about others. You don't care how you treat others but you care and feel hurt when others treat you.

So, who's at fault here?

Im not being jealous but i can't lie to myself. You thought you knew me but you were wrong. I thought i knew you but i was wrong. You turned out to be more like a stabber in the back of me and i felt quite hurt about that.

You may not know about how i feel.
But, you always confided in me whenever you had problems at home. You confided to me whenever you have a troubled relationships, you confided to me whenever you felt bad. But, do you question yourself on how i feel?

Do you even know whether do i have any problems that i had to settled??
Everybody is nice. But it's hard to trust.
Sorry.
Trust needs to be earn.
Respect needs to be earn too.

Hope that you understand what i meant.
I'm sorry if i were too coward enough to say this to your face but i don't wanna get any third party in it.
Thanks.
=)

2011-12-19T05:49:00.000-08:00

Hey there peeps... ^_^||

My results will be in another 3 more days!!
Fast or what?!!!
Hopefully what i hope for will get!!
My heart keep beating faster and faster as days pass by..
Hopefully, i get in with my classmate...
New class, a new friend, an new books, a new teacher.
sigh.. =_=||
hm...

bored to the maximum..
blueqx!!

making new glasses...
andd, i reckon i will be nicknamed as a 'geek' now... tsk...
Can't wait to get it by fridayy!!
=))

And, to my dearest friend, Get well soon!!!
Miss you guys lots taw!!
It's almost Christmas...
Again...
Everywhere you go, will be super crowded...
Plus, our trains here are having some maintenance...
hm...
I think there's something wrong in between the tracks...?
Maybe it's rusty or what?
Hm..
Who knows?
Oh well, safety is important though...
So, have a nice night everyone!!
It's such a nice weather so, good night!
Sleep tight!!
=))

❤

2011-12-18T04:41:00.000-08:00

i'll try my best to ignore you.
in order that, you won't come and ask for help whenever you feel like and then dump me at the side whenever you feel like.
Cos, you don't know how it hurts.

Bubbye.~

`~.~

.......

2011-12-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

*just to let out everything that is held on to my chest*

Am i your friend?
For goodness sake's! Im your friend, your neighbor, ,your classmates how could you feel like not talking to me?

i know that if problems are to surfaced up into our lives it's damn f*****ing hard to talk. But these had been a few hours and you've got to be kidding me?!

The world does not revolves around you and yes you had to move on with life.

eeesh!~~~!! Gossipers, rumor spreaders, please just get out of my life will ya?

I don't need another trouble to be a burden to me.
I had enough of nonsense here so yup.
I think it's my fault to be nice to people.
Kind to people that i've even been stabbed back from my friend.
And, i don't want to have another backstabber.

Another person died, peacefully. R.I.P...
The last time i talked to her was on thursday.
Plus, her last words for me is that topic.
Relationships.

It's hard to talk about it, cause it doesn't even crossed in my mind and soul to have a relationship.
Everybody thought i would have but no. My goals in life were un-describe-able.
It's like, i'm a pathetic.
Been called useless even though i'm not.
What is it called?
It's called Life for me.

I did not complained for i know that i will only give people half of my burdens..
So, keeping quiet and write down all my thoughts in a book,
That book is special to me.
Cause in that book, i can communicate .
I let my friends read it cause, they wanted to know why i treasured the book as precious as if it was a golden bar.
And now that they know, they understand why at certain times, i felt that i wanted to run away from home but at the same time i can't. Cos lots of unsettled business i had not done.
So yup.
Now that i can let it out , i can finally breathe in deeply without any worries.
=)

2011-12-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

Right now, currently in my mind, i was thinking of what or how am i to react when i gotten my result..?

Happy?

Sad?

Happy?

Unhappy?

Terrific?

Un-stabilized ?

Positively?

hm....

Just take the first letter and you'll get what i want... =)

10 Random Facts About Me

2011-12-09T03:45:00.000-08:00

Hey there bloggers!! ^_^||

Here's a list of 10 random facts about me:

1. I love to do paper crafts !!

2. I love to learn new things and willing to learn it!! =))

3. I don't like to sketch in sketchbooks but i do like to doodle on drawing sheets!

4. I love to write, so don't mind it =))

5. I love mineral water! *supremely random*
But i do love green tea!! Green tea rocks!

6. I love to make a smile whenever i writes. =))

7. I do love to sing, but i don't do it publicly. =) *shy*
I hate standing on stage! *nervously*

8. My favorite things to do is to bake!
Amazingly, i can cook too..!! =)
Must be my mom... *smile*

9.My fear is... the sea..
Every time I'm on the beach or at the water theme park, i try not to go near the deeper side.. It's okay if my friends wanna go there but i don't. So yup. I won't even step into the sea water... >_<||
For heights... I love! When you're up, way up, it felt nice to look down to earth and see lots of things.. Yeah, i do got a little bit of tightness in my stomach but i can get it over with very quickly..

10. I cannot lie for if i lied, i'll ended up laughing...
*Based on my experience*
I found out i can't lie. If i lied, i'll laugh..
It's hard! =(

So there you you go!
My 10 list of random facts about me. =))
What's yours?

Am i just .....

2011-12-06T05:27:00.000-08:00

hey there!
During holidays, im so bored..
I have used up almost half of my notebooks just to write random stuff like short stories, poems, even some lyric that have no logic rights.

I've been thinking...
Am i just a substitute for you whenever your partner broke up with you?
Plus whenever you have problems, you come and find me just so that i could settle it for you?
Am i your friend or am i not your friend?
Cause i feel different.
I felt we can't communicate anymore.
It's like you're a part of another reality and im on the other side of reality.
it's different from the way i stand.

You're trying to act cool when you're not.
You're trying to be nice but edgy but to others you're acting as a bitch.
I understand you just wanna be nice towards people or your friends but at certain times, you just act as if you're the boss and this upset most of your friends.
=(

Im glad that i can just take my worry off you by doing paper crafts and some bakings.

2011-12-05T03:13:00.000-08:00

The first day of my trip to Kuala Lumpur.

I was excited....

When i finished my examinations, i rushed outside school to wait for my sister.

After a 5 hour journey trip from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur, finally i reached..

And, since it was my mistake that i had an exams on that day, my sister and i have to find our own way to the hotel.

We stayed at the Furama Hotel Bukit Bintang and it was great.

The room was huge.

And, when i turned on the tv, guess what i see?

yup..

Spongebob Squarepants!!

But it was dubbed in malay....

Even though i'm malay, i don't really understand the way malaysian talks.. =(

I mean, imma singaporean obviously but at times, i don't understand malay..

Cos, i used english too much plus, i used mandarin towards my classmate...=(

Hm.. oh well..

After freshening up and etc, we went to Berjaya Times Square.

=))

I can't believe that there's an indoor theme park in the mall itself!

And for our dinner, we bought salads and instant noodles.. =((

It was nice overall..

But to sleep it's damn annoying..

I keep waking up in the middle of the night..!

Around 3 am...

I woke up..

Then, my sis..

Around 6 am, we return to our lala land..

Around 8 plus 9 am, we woke p and get ready for breakfast.

_______________________________________________________________________

The second day, we went to KLCC..

=))

The top picture at the centre was the one i took..

At the angle where i'm standing, it looks kinda nice so i took it..

=))

Unfortunately my phone died just after a few moments when i took this.

After KLCC, we proceed on to the theme park.

We played the roller coaster, the dizzy itzzy game plus the Dynamite something..

It was absolutely fun!

Furthermore i ended my paper so why not have fun ?

A celebration..?

We then bought dinner again and then off to the hotel..

We ate Sushi king! @_@||

In KL everything that i see is halal..

And that makes us more easier to find food.. =))

yum!

It was delicious.

_____________________________________________________________

The last day, i can't wait to go home!!

=))

I'm so excited about it and was so eager to wait..

We went for shopping..

But nothing gets my attention...

=))

In my mind, i was just thinking, home. home.home. my rom.. my room.. my books..my books.!

=))

I'm so obsessed with books that i finally bought a malay novel.!

I realise that i had to improve on my malays.

So, i bought it..

It's called: Bagaikan Puteri.

Insya'allah, i will write here in malay...=))

Once i improved on..

=))

We board on the nus and reached here around 8 plus 9..?

so yup.

it was tiring..

=))

Overall was great!

okay then!

Have anyone watched the MAMA thingy?

i did not manage to catch it on the day it was shown.. =(

*sobs*

Oh well..!!

Im happy just the way i am.. =))

nothing's gonna stop me from writing..

=))

Looking forward to the result for my paper..

Hopefully i can get to the module that i wished!

=))

Thanks for reading!

bubye!

Holidays are in!

2011-12-03T03:08:00.000-08:00

Hey there bloggers!! =))
Had a safe trip to Kuala Lumpur last Wednesday...
And it was great.
The bad thing was that, after i had done my exams, i got the fever.
And the weather day is uncertain...
It's like, rain for awhile then sunny...
sigh...
Holidays are in and soon it will be the end of 2011...
Plus, i'll be taking other modules...
sigh...
a new class, a new classmates, a new lecturers...
Urgh!
Can any day be better?!
So now, i got the sore throat plus the flu!
Will be clearing my room anytime soon..
Cause i need some space in my room..
And, if possible, i wanna forget those past.
Those memories...'Those hurtful memories...
sigh... >x<|||

What do i learn from my trip to KL?
I learn how to appreciate my public transport and love how green my country is. =)
Negative side effects of the trip:
Everywhere you go, people around you are smoking. And that sucks when you have fever. =p

What i would like to do there?
you may say that i'm a boring type of person but, i wished i could go to their museums!!
=(
I just love the museums! The feeling of stepping into the museums are like you're entering into an enchanted cave or a forest. You just have to find what kind of treasures are out there. =)

Great!
Mom just pissed me off!
Sometimes, i hate how the way she treated me!!
You're sitting in your room, trying very hard to just cool down then suddenly she yelled out your name out loud!!! And when you answered her a question, she expects you to go out and ask her!
It's very irritating!!!
Can i just go out!!!
=*(

2011-11-25T03:24:00.000-08:00

Hello!!
Been so stressed up lately for the upcoming exams!! =(
Plus i wished that i could turn back the times!
=(
Now that you're.......
You're gonna leave me in the lurch and just come back when you have no one to back you up..?
Are you gonna treat me right?
Lots of questions are running into my mind and i have yet to answer them!

sigh..
Will it be over soon enough?

Let Me clear my mind..

2011-11-22T01:06:00.000-08:00

All i wanna do now is to clear my mind and focus on my studies!
So, i wished, that you would stop interfering into my life and destroyed it again!
I don't wanna have anything to do or say to you!
Please?!
I said my piece.
Will be going out soon!!
=)
the weather is very nice!
Should go out!
=))

2011-11-21T07:27:00.000-08:00

for some reasons...
i...........
hate.......
you.........

I
hate
for
the
way
you
treated
my
mom.

I
mean....
you against
God.

How
could
you.?

From the start of all this strange incident, i knew it was you!
How could you do this to my father?!

He's your brother for god's sakes!
I'm your niece!
If my mom were to leave, would you care for me as if i'm your daughter?
YOU caused my relative to ***.
Because of the stupid jealousy!
Stupid things!!
Can't you just treasure the person that is there for once?!
Where's your heart?
I'm ashamed to have you as my relative.
=(

it's 20.11.2011

2011-11-20T04:03:00.001-08:00

Hey...
like the title says, it's 20.11.2011
is kinda cool...
today went to a wedding...
so much hassle... =(
had to wear make ups etc....
i hate it.
cos the weather was so hot!
then when we came back , it started to rain....
what the heck....??!

im damn tired...
maybe having a slight fever?
i don't know...
just tired.
and feels like damn sleepy even though i had taken an hour's nap...
=(
sigh...
my nose is like a running tap water.
okays...
bubbye bloggers...
happy reading..

Practice makes perfect

2011-11-19T00:24:00.000-08:00

Hey there!!
The only thing that i'm good at is writing..
I know sometimes i felt like a bit kind of useless cause, i envy those surrounds me can do better stuff than me.
Like for example, they can run faster than me...
They can even pass their test without even studying...
But, all of that does not even matter to me now.
I've come to realise that, the only thing that i can improve is to practice...
Practice all of my works over and over again..
To make it perfect..

Like doing the origami paper cranes.
It was tough for me at first.
But as days passed by, and i watched carefully how they do it, in a short time, i can master it.
=)
So, come on !
I know i can do this!

Why should i just give up half way for that someone's words that brings me down?
Instead, i should just ignore about it and move on.
Hey!
I don't wanna be a backstabber!
I don't wanna make my friends hurt because of one stupid thing and i hope that you would do the same!
Hurting someone's feeling is twice as painful as if you're being ripped apart!
So stop hurting that person's feeling.
Cause, in the end, you'll be hurting yours.
And, respect people's privacy please!
=)
okay..
it felt so much better.. =)
okay.. got to go now!
=)

=)

2011-11-18T05:16:00.000-08:00

Hey there bloggers!!
=)
^_^||

So yup..
It's friday!
=)
so yup..
lols..
Been busy lately..
guess what?
SBM's over!!
no more stressed up!!
i realized something...
I love plushies!!
Plushies are cute!
Handmade plushies are much more cuter!!!
Will try to upgrade my skills...
Been thinking lately..
Do i really wanna continue?
Or just stop till here?
Should i join?
Or should i not?
There's a thousand and one questions in my head and i've no answer to it..
So how?
Everybody looks at me whenever i blasted my music to the maximum on my ear.
But, it's just how i lived.
Even now, i'm recharging my ipod shuffle.. =)
Cause, i can't sleep without music..
Actually i can.... But since that incident, i've been so afraid of sleeping in the dark without listening to music...
i had no idea why..
But somehow you got the feeling of you know what..
oh well...
downloading new songs and writing in a blog...
While writing, i listened to T-ARA's new song..
=)
It's called...
"CRY.CRY.CRY"
nice!!
^_^|||
Okay...
Gonna write soon okays!
Happy reading!!
IMMFVM!!!
=(
sigh...
must wait till monday !!
Then must wait till next wednesday for freaking exam!!!
Arh!!!
Is there any day better than that?!!
Bubbye!!
Good Night everyone!! =3

2011-11-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

Hy bloggers!!

I've passed all my tests!!

No need to retake or so called repeat the test again or whatsoever!

Alhamdulillah!!! Thank you Allah!! =))

From this time onwards, i have to study hard!!

I cannot give up on hope and faith!

I must survive!!

I cannot afford to fail!!

Come on ,Dalilah!! You can do this!!!

=))

Jia yous people!!

=))

Finish my SBM presentation, finish my Personal Module presentation, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

It's over!!

Now left for focusing on my Digital Electronics!!

Come on people fight all the way!!

**************************************************************************

If i were to say that i had only a few hours left to go, would you stop and listen to what i would say?

If i were crying over something, would you stop and comfort me and lending me your pair of ears?

2011-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Hey there bloggers!!
Another new day!!!
Ican't wait!!
=))
Damn happy!
=))
I just hand in my assignment and, now i left to study! Study ,study!
=(
Can i just skipped on that day?
sigh..
Will be meeting my friend later after school...
In class now..
Will be writing later i guess?
Just a quick update! ^_^||

it rained today...

2011-11-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

Hey...
It rained heavily just now here in Tampines area...
)=
sigh..
Today end early cause need to do some worksheets..
sigh...sigh..
will i ever stop sighing..?
im tired...
super tired...
God, please give me some strength to overcome this obstacles...
=(
Irritated,annoyed,pissed off,hurt,sad. Is what im feeling right now...
How can it be?!
i smiled like as if there's nothing going on but there's lots of things going on right now!
=(
sigh...
wish it would be better tomorrow..

Stressful enough..?

2011-11-04T22:46:00.001-07:00

Hey!!
Been busy lately..
Plus been so stressful too..! =(
Had to do lots of reports, plus presentations plus assignments and etc.

sigh..
lots of deadlines..
plus exam's coming in a few more days only!!
O_O||||
sian! x(
sigh...

will write again if got time alrights!!
=)

2011-11-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Hey!
Guess what?!!
Today got Class test 2!!!
yikes!

Still need to do lots of stuff.

Yesterday must do reflection and to be honest, i lied to myself.
I don't know how i did it..
I think i lied to my teacher as well..
Because, during the reflection period, all of my group mates are going over me and wanted to see how i ranked them etc.
In the end, i wrote that they did a lot of work and we can communicate.
I lied to myself again!
sigh..
And now, about the presentation, i have to do for them also.
Report i have to summarized it again.
I did the whole thing but .........
sigh....

it's hard to communicate with them.
plus, it's even harder for them to understand me.

people thought i don't have any problems but i do!

Do you know that i'msick of sitting at home doing all the chores?!
I can't even sit down to use a computer for half an hour!
I just switched on the computer, my mom told me to do this and that.
By the time i wanna use the computer, my sister will be home .
And then, whenever i watched tv, my mom will ask me to go to the kitchen and wash the dishes.
It's like a routine given to me.
Other people can wake up late as they want.
But for me i can't!
Before 8 am i must be up doing something.
If not, my mom will nagged and nagged.
And it's annoying!!
Because, you can't fight back!
Because she's your mother!
It's hard!
God!
I'm tired!
OMG!!
Aren't you tired of nagging?
For goodness sake's !
I have a class test today!
Im suppose to study yesterday night!
But no!
You told me to do chores and chores!
Im your daughter not your maid!
=(
f**** you!
Im not a robot!
Im not a machine!
Fcku you!
_______________________________________________________________________________
And, please talk in english!
I can't understand a word when you're talking in other language!
Can you please at least learn?
And stop playing around when we're serious!
=(

2011-11-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

what to write...??
Yesterday ......
got bazaar...
and all i know is, i shouted like a mad woman/ crazy girl..
Cause business was not so good yesterday plus it rained heavily yesterday too..
Makes all of my classmates damn tired plus sleepy..
I drank 4 cans of Coke just to keep myself awake..
It's a good thing that i stayed awake..
If not, i think, i should just buy the lemonade drink?
That one sure can wake up!
Sour to the maximum!!

Today no P.E lesson..
So yup..
today went home early...
Unfortunately did not bring keys so must wait outside the house like a puppy being left alone...
Luckily got my phone and i texted my friends...
While waiting for my parents to get back home!
=)

Today, damn tiring..!!
Can i skip my class tomorrow?
I've got a practical test again!
And the following day will be .... Class Test 2!!
Damn!
I've yet to choose what module to take for next year..
Should i take...
Computer and Networking..?
Or...
Wireless Devices?
Im actually not that interested but i'll give my best to all!!
Jia yous people!!
10 more days to 11.11.2011 minus the 20 = 11.11.11
Does it work?
Will it work?
Can i make a wish?

Hey, my friend, can you please pay attention towards the teacher?
I know it's very hard to pay attentions but, instead of wasting your time checking your facebook statuses might as well you study something right?
You know what?
You think, you're the only one that has lots of problems and stress a lot..
But actually, it is not true.!
Everybody has lots of problems and they DO stress a lot, it's just that they, dump it on one corner.
And focus on their work.
Unlike some people, they don't complaints.
I know this may seem hard for you to understand but, in reality that is called life!
There's no such things called Happy Endings or Fairy Tales, or Happily Ever After.
There's no way it can be!
I just want you to know, no matter what happens you still have your parents whom you could talk to..
For me, i can't seem to talk, so yup.
My book is the only one for me to talk to..

2011-10-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hey!!
one thing is that, you can add all of my friends but the problem is you don't even know them right?
You only added them. because you're just into girls.
And man, please don't be desperate here will ya?!

I mean, im not saying you should be desperate but, fro all i know is, a guy should be a gentleman towards a girl.
Whenever my friends sees how you treated me, as if im a guy, they'll say, why is he being a jerk towards you.. etc..

Somehow i wanna know...
Are you jerk..?

Cos you're not acting like 1 but you behave like too..
Plus, if you're g***, i think, you won't be interested in girls right?
hm..
Oh well!!
Boys will be boys!
=**)
good night everybody!
Sweet dreams don't dream of a jerk alrights!

Fixing a broken heart, left opened with a wound that is yet to heal

2011-10-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

sigh...
Another day has gone and before you knew it, it's Monday..
sigh!!

Im not the person who is suppose to be responsible so please stop asking me lots of questions can?
Giving suggestions and doing all the work.?
Gosh!
Bravo!
If i were to be sick on that day itself, if i were not able to come, would you guys stop doing the work and wait for me to come back?
Even if i'm down with flu or some bad cough, i came to school because i can't afford to lose any studies out or work out.
I know where i stands.
I know who i am.
But, you don't even know who i am.
I'm just a classmate.
Im just a friend.
Im just a student.
Im just a daughter.
Im just a sister.
Im just a cousin, niece etc.
You know me by the name, but do you know me by my heart?
I don't wanna make any mistakes, i know. Im cautious person.
I know im a bad daughter. I know whatever i do is wrong in your eyes.
But i don't give up.
Because giving up will just let you win.
And making me lose.
And in the end, i have to pretend to be good when i'm not.
I meant, in the attitude.
I am good towards you because first, you are my parents.
And i have to. No matter whatever happens, i have to respect you because without you guys i won't be able to stand on where i am now.
And i love you guys for that.
But....
Do you guys know what i want?
Cause i don't know what i am suppose to do now.
I don't know how long i can last with this type of attitude.
I just took up this course because, no matter what, at least i have a future.
But that's only for you. Because of you guys.

And my friends.
Thanks to you guys, i'm able to smile.
Thanks a lot.
Appreciate it..
Since my grandmother is no longer around, i can depend only you guys because, i shared secrets between my grandmother only.
And to think, that she left without a word but with tears.
I regretted but you guys taught me to be strong and etc.
And you guys make me smile without fail!!
Thanks a lot you guys!!
Rui Xuan!!!
Thanks for being there whenever im up and down!!
Thanks a lot!!
=)
But now, somehow, im sad again..
Do you mind, telling me jokes?
=(
Chat to you again!
=)

=(

2011-10-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

sigh...
another day of stressed up day...
sigh...
will it be so stressful?
i don't know..
felt like...
hm....
actually, i don't know how i really feel..
it's somehow mixed up.
And i don't know....
sigh....

just hope, that they'll cooperate with me...
and no more troubles..
seems like a few cooperates while the rest....
and looks like, im the one have to make them to be in a group.
sigh.
Weather, please be very nice to me...
I don't have any umbrellas with me..
Thank you..
=)
Going to go school now..
Meeting my friend soon.!
=(
Bubbye!
=(

2011-10-25T04:20:00.000-07:00

OMG!!
I can't believe that i jogged for 4 rounds in my school!!
The track is like twice of the school hall...
hm...
Now i just felt like i wanna give up on everything...
Sorry but that's just how i live...
I'm happy within half a day and sad on the other half...
But i did not get you into troubles so that's fine.
So don't even think of trying to get me into trouble...
sigh...

I love the weather!
I love organizing my books!
I love letting out my feelings through my creativity...
I love the way i am...

Everybody is not perfect.
But that does not mean they'll piss you off...
I ti s true, they wanna be better off than you but don't you think you've got to sigh a relief because they're different from you..

Example.
I can use my creativity onto something useful such as decorating a book...?
And my friend is good in ... something unlike me... Vulgarities...
She uses vulgarities whenever she's pissed off..

Im good in keeping quiet all the time...
But i'm not good in making lots of noises.

I may be good in writing, but that does not mean i'm good in my speaking..
You may hurt me all you want, but that does not mean i have to hurt you back.
You may stab me in the back, but i'd rather lose a friend than stabbing other people's back.
"I'm sorry if i ever hurt you" is what you said a million times to me, but does that mean you won't do it again?
People, think before you act.
Don't just rush off without thinking okay..
Cause you may hurt other people's feelings unintentionally.
Alrites..
I'll write again tomorrow? Or maybe other days ...
Anyway... Wanna wish to all my Indian friends out there on Earth,
Happy Deepavali!!
And enjoyy your ddaayys alrites!
=))

2011-10-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggers!!

I just love the weather today... =)

Love the sky and the clouds.. =')
Love the green trees and love the warmth that is given out by the sun...
=)

Can i have this type of weather everyday..?
=)
The first picture that you see here is the one i took today... See how beautiful the colour of the sky looks like?

The second one was taken yesterday... To me, the cloud is like a giant candy floss stucked at the edge of the HDB flat opposites me.

The third one also similar only taken at different angle..

So far, i just love the weather!!

Do you?

Got go now...

Gonna iron my school pants... =)

bubbye!!

Happy day everyone!!

2011-10-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

It is now 9.53 pm at night.
I am so lethargic that all i wanna do is just to lie down on my bed...
So, here it goes...

Tiny stars, shining bright, now it's time to say good night.
So close your eyes and sleep tight,
May sweet dreams makes you smiles at night!
Good night!
=)

Hopefully i'll write again when i am free alright ...

Sayonara..
Oyasumi
annyeonghi jumuseyo
Selamat malam
Wan an

Yay!!!

2011-10-22T01:14:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggers!!!
My friend texted me..
The doctors says she's fine... But she had to take her medicine..
yay!!

means she's okay!!!
=DDDDD
im so happy!!!

so worried the whole night for her.... waiit...
does that mean, i dun need to do the cranes anymore..??

2011-10-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggers!!

Yup... As you guys can see here... is... paper cranes!!!

love them!

but im doing this for a friend...

If i get to make another 90 more of these, i'll show it to her or better yet gift it to her..

Cos she's sick...

And im trying to help her feeling better...

So yup...

Hopefully after seeing this, she'll feel a bit better...

Finger -crossed people!

Even though this paper cranes are giving me a hard time, i had to be patient and i also must do it sincerely..

Because, if you never do it sincerely, it will turn out not to be a beautiful crane but just a crane..

so...

here it is..

ta-da!

Left 90 more to go!!

Jia yous people!

2011-10-21T01:59:00.001-07:00

True friends is hard to find cause they're gonna be extinct soon .

2011-10-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hey there Bloggers!!

Lesson start at 1 so i'll be ready in... let's say, about 10 minutes?

I guessed i really changed a lot.

Form the photos itself, i looked through it carefully and i've realized that i've changed.
And it's not only me.
Seems like my parents can't even took a notice of me changed....
hm...

Do they care?
They care about my studies... yeah that's true..
But, do they care about my feelings?

Yesterday, my mother makes lots of noises that it felt like a radio has been turned on for the whole night and i can't seem to sleep...

When it finally stop making noises, I'm still wide awake in the room...

Trying to sleep but it's seem so difficult...

Told myself, tomorrow i've got school to go to and i have to sleep or else i can't wake up.

But really, it's like every time i closes my eyes, it's like i will automatically opened it again and then i won't sleep..

It's weird cause I'm an early bird to be sleeping...
I'm the first person to sleep usually and be the first to wake up the next morning..
But no..
I slept around 12 am and wakes up around 8 am..
How do i do it?
I had no idea...
it's like there's a jerk...
a sense of urgency of not knowing anything?
i guess you can say that right?
hm...
it's already 12:01 at noon..
the sky is dark as it's gonna rain soon..

wanna know something?
whenever i looks up to the sky.., i can see there's lots of colours ..
the clouds are as white as a snow...
the skies are blue like the ocean but there's also a tinge little bit of purple.
when the skies are dark, i can see, the lightest of purple and grayish colour mixed in...
i can't described it...
it's damn beautiful...

whenever there's a sunset, there's always red, pink, orange and yellow..
the colours of the lights surrounding us..
And i love it!
=)
Okay...
i'll have to prepare for now...
got to go..
bubbye!!
Happy reading!
=D

Complicated is the word to describe it.... Difficult is the word to describe me.

2011-10-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

Complications...
Difficulties...

Hey, stop being such a nuisance towards me can?
Stop being so childish will ya?!

For goodness sake's ! You're a guy but you're acting as if you're a 2 year old kid.

People smiling also you wanna compliment?
What the hell do you want ?

You creates trouble towards people.
Can you stop it?
Handle your anger can?

SPSY.

You said, i can't take jokes or whatsoever.
Yes! I can take jokes but not when that person is making fun of me.!
Hello! I have feelings! I'm a human!

You're acting as if you're some kind of a jerk!

Say you can expelled some kid out of school?

Hey!
Who the heck are you to expelled that kid ?
You're a student. You're a human!
You're not a principal so just fcuking hell shut up.
And one more thing!
Can you have some manners towards teachers and students?
They're your seniors plus they are your classmates.

Can you?
Favor..
Don't make things so complicated.
Cos i had enough of complications here.
I had enough of the difficulties here.
Im already in an unhappy so-called mood.
So, you better don't try to disturb me alrites unless you really really need me to knocked out those daylights out of you.
Just because you're a guy does not mean i can't fight back.!
It's i can, but i chose not to because to me, fighting does not solve any problems at all.

So, please. Stop all your nonsense right now.
Thanks!
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hey there bloggers!
Dun bother about the above..!
I just need to relieve some stress so yup..
Erm...
Currently... my exam is next month and so, my class will be having a revision period...
So yup.!
Tomorrow lesson starts at 1...
So...
Maybe i can write again..
=)
Today didn't do anything much only do some report and summaries...
Weather forecast for today.... raining... cooling weather... nice... wish that i could sleep now..
z.z.z.zzzzz.
Okay... i'll probably write again tomorrow..?
Happy reading and thanks for taking time here!
=)

She's home/ Bad Day

2011-10-18T02:18:00.000-07:00

sigh....sigh...
yesterday had been very very bad bad day for me...
tired... too tired...
till i can't give a damn to anything...
till i can't talk ...
damn tired...
yesterday also....
she's back at last!
but need to clean her wound everyday...
seems like i have to do it for her....
sigh...
sian...
ttm...
T_T

@_@||
=p

Miscommunications... yikes!

2011-10-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

sigh..
can i just sit down at the corner of my room and cry...?

I think at any point of this time, i'll break down and cry...
sigh...
seriously..

You said you know me.
But you'll never know the real me.

You said i'm weak.
But you had no idea how tough i could be.

You said i'm not perfect.
But, in this life, there's nobody who were born perfect.

Stop making it looks so complicated can?!
Stop being a nuisance to everybody will you?!

Just for once, help out.
You think i can do everything?
I can't do a thing without anybody's help.
I admit, i can do something, but at least show some appreciation or support.
Don't just hang around there and act as if you have nothing else to do..
Im not trying to push the blame but it's just that, i can't do everything by myself.
You can't just depend on me. What if i were to be sick on that day?
Would you guys stop the work and wait till i come back then resume it?
I appreciate those who helped but just help.

hm...

tomorrow must wake up.. damn early... early as possible...
even though it's Saturday... it's for charity...

today went for a walkathon..
fun... not tiring okay urh...
just..... a bit of tired now...
and time checked... 9.05 pm..
nobody's around again..
im all alone again...
sigh...

2011-10-11T05:03:00.000-07:00

sigh...
i wonder for how many days must she stay there...
and im wondering how am i going to survive...
today...

went home just to find out, nobody's around..
Suddenly phone rings , dad says... will be home late..
i was like.. T.T no way!!!

then...
that's it..
alone in the house..
don't dare to go out of sis room cause....
it's so dark..
.....?
oh well..

2011-10-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

The worst thing that a girl had the most is.... CRAMPS!

And it's not good..
Makes you feel sick and you can't seem to move..
sigh...
for the whole week, my body was like super aching and whenever i tired to move around, it happened again..

the worst thing for me or better yet,the worst experience for me was in my class.
It's filled with boys. Lots of boys.
Since there's only 4 girls in class.
And unfortunately, that's when i name it : troublesome plus embarrassment.
You can't bring your bag out with you when you're having lesson. Plus, when you wanna take out that "bread" is like obvious for guys to see so in the end, i just ignore.
But then, the cramps started ...
It's like fighting a war .
The pain was indescribable and with lots of boys around, you can't seem to take it out and ran to the toilet. So, i stayed still..
As still as i can for not trying to move.
sigh..
the whole week!

Yesterday had a high fever.
In the middle of the night, i felt cold. Very cold as if im in an air-con room..
i got up and eat a medicine and fortunately,it went down..
But now, the fever came up again..
sigh..
Monday need to hand in lots of things..
And tomorrow need to do lots of things too..
sigh, will be a long long day...
So, good night everyone...

The thing is....

2011-10-05T04:34:00.000-07:00

I .

want.

you.

to.

shut.

the

hell

up.

Cos.

You're

pissing

off

and

it's

irritating..

So i think you better stop it before i do something.!

Can i just lie down on my bed?

Tired.

Tired

Tired.

Everyday, keep saying to myself, it's going to be over soon. it's gonna be over soon.

Friday will come soon.

Friday will come soon..

But, in the end... its still long way to go....

I can't be bothered by you anymore..

So, i'll be keeping quiet.

Just keep my mouth shut.

Even if im in pain i'll keep quiet.

Even my face shows the sign of pain or whatsoever, i'll just be quiet as i don't wanna be a burden to you.

alrites!

Today got class test and i think, i'll fail it..

Lots of questions, i'm not too sure and some i know..

hm..

okay.. got to go now..

2011-09-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

Hey there!!
Its been a few days since i last blogged..

Hm...

Last Saturday, was more like a boring day for me.
A big thanks to all my friends that wished me.
Appreciates it a lot...
=)

I don't know what to write..
hm...

Maybe tomorrow watching movies...?
erm... maybe..
=))

Okay.. till here then.
=)

Love the sky

2011-09-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

Hey!!

My friends probably enjoying their trip now...

Hm.. Looks like, im the odd one out...?
haha!

How i wish, that i could just lie down on the grass that is green in this colour. And just stare at the sky with no problems and just smiled.
hm...

I don't mind being the house or the tree, cause all i wanna do is just to look up to the sky and smiled. =)
hm.. let's save up money..?

Currently need to save up some cash so that i can buy new school books for next term or next year... And i still have not finished using those school voucher...
Expires on December i think...
hm...
I can see the sunset at my place!
It's B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L<3

And the sky has turn into somewhat blue.. the kind of blue that is meant for the ocean.... and the clouds are greyish black... looks like its gonna rain again....
=)
tonight's gonna be a good night!
I can snuggle up with my blankets on and sleep and dream the nicest dream! <3
=)

2011-09-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THE WEATHER TODAYY!!

it's not too hot.. not too cold..
And, it is the best day to go out....
The best day for playing outdoor games...
The best day to go for a picnic..
The best day to do anything!!
=))

____________________________________________________________________________________

When the sun has risen up, you'll be able to find me somewhere we can only knows...
When it rains, you'll be the one who stays by my side...
Whether rain or shines, you're always there.
Now that you're gone, it felt like weird..

Cos..
When it rains, i'll be the one who's crying under my blanket without making any noise.
Tears will come out just as they want.

When it shines, i'll be the one who wake up first and just stare at the empty space where you used to sit and talked to me .

Sigh..
Now it feels like super weird..
Nobody can replace you in my life.
=(

2011-09-20T01:24:00.000-07:00

So much for being panic!

i thought my exams were in September but when i double-checked it again, it's on November!
Damn!
And i was cracking my head out to study !
Ish!

So frustrating!!!
>_<||
Shiro!

2011-09-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

it rained todayy....
hm...

flashbacks are coming back again...
hm.

tomorrow and the day after, my two friends will go on an overseas trip..
Hope that, they will have a safe flight.. =)

how i wish that, it's real.
how i wish it does not only exist in dreams, fairytales etc..
if only it was real, wouldn't the whole world be peace and harmony..?

hm...

i wonder...

2011-09-17T02:03:00.000-07:00

Hwaahh!!! @_@|||

i hate holidays! =(

regret to say i love holidays!!
I don't wanna stay and listen to lots of noises!
Thought, i could wake up late as late as 10 am! But no!

hm...
You're in then you're out. In and out. Aren't you getting tired of this? Cos i am!
And every time you just come n just eat whatever my family had! Are you a guy at all?

You can't just depend on your relatives only! You've got to move on!
Why can't you be like others?
They've quit but you?
yucks! it sucks! to know someone like you . i remember, when i was young, i asked. Where is uncle mom? And she'll always say that you're out a the sea.
But this so-called sea is...?

Please! When you're out, just be responsible of your actions can?
Dun hang around with those kind of thugs. They are not your friends at all!
Friends don't ruin their friends.
Please!
$>$||
Now heard that you went in, i can't be happier. Sorry, no offense but i think, it's better that you're in and this time, really use your head to reflect on what you've done alrights?

For me, i just wanna study. And in future, i don't wanna meet someone who behaves like you. Or smokers.
No offense!

I wanna make my parents to be proud of what i am today.
I wanna make my mother felt as if she's happier than ever!
I wanna make my dad felt proud.!
=)
Its not about being positive or negative but think logically..
You don't wanna make people nagged at you lecturing how tired they are for working to give you luxury or crap. So, why not do something that they can be proud of?

Ok.. I don't think i wanna aim but let's try it out... Study for tonight.
Just one chapter. If i can hold it. means i could study...for the rest of the night, but if not , i'll just sleep.. =)
Made a deal with my dad.
Study thn i can do whatever i wanna do after.
So..yup.!
<3
okay.. got to log out soon.. need to go out... yikes! Going out. damn!
^<^||

2011-09-15T02:41:00.001-07:00

Why does my heart keep beating faster and faster as if it's catching a train soon?

Answer: It's holiday soon!!!

Holiday,holiday,holiday is coming to town!! <3

Happiness ! ^_^||
Im so happy!!
=))

@_@||
>@||
=))

Projects done!
Assignments done!
Homework, halfway more to go..!! Jia yous!
Studying period?? = ???
just kidding..
will be dong it tonight!
=)

I can't wait for the holidays to come!!
^>^||

2011-09-12T04:48:00.000-07:00

So...
Hey!
=)

Hm..
My dad remembered my birthdayy!!happy or what?!! XD
So.. as i promised... i'll put up things that i do.. currently..

Yummy! <3

Okay..! So till here alrights!

I have an exam coming soon...!!
So, i think i won't write here unless i have to okays!!

Thanks for reading!!
Appreciate it a lot!
=)
Have a good evening!
=)

2011-09-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

Okay... it's been like more than 7 days of Hari Raya and i've yet to get out of the house to go for visiting..
I don't know why...
But it's like i'm more to become lazier than ever when it comes to going out!
I had no idea why.. but it's been at least a year since i go out for visiting...
Unless i need to do some last minute shopping.. or whatsoever a girl should do..

I hanged out with my friends whenever i have the time but i tends to go home earlier than we planned ..
=)
you can say that i'm bored but all i do was just trying to avoid... mom's lectures..
seriously i had enough of it...
but sometimes i really need to wake up..
=*)

I'm a strong willed kind of girl..
Won't give up but will just breakdown..

I showed a character of : tough on the outside but soft inside...

I don't like to be hurt .... means that i don't wanna get hurt by those hurtful words you wanna shoot at me..

I like to do paper crafts...
Drawing is my second on the list ...
For the first... paper crafts!! <3
loves them a lots!
But i have to find a way that i could use all those paper crafts i made is useful.. And also organizing it..
Need to make a box to put them in...

=)

will upload the things that i made and done during in class and when im bored...
=)
or when teachers weren't looking.. hehe..
=)
ok... got to go..

really really tired.. and sleepy..
=)
=(
=)
=D
Good night everyone!!

Gosh ... Exams around the corner

2011-09-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

Hey!!
Guess what??
I'm damn happy to the max !!

I've done my project and now left to study...

The word study makes me feel like wanna run away but...
I think i should just study so that i can understand better... =)
Think positive alrights!!

Just now went down to Orchard to buy book..
OMG!!
The book that i bought cost more than my 2 weeks pocket money~~
And then went home but somehow, in the train... There's someone who likes to create troubles..
And i was wondering... What if a policeman ride on this train and saw this particular incident? Will the guy who's trying to create trouble will stop acting as if he's a gangster?

In my opinion, a gangster will always be afraid towards policeman...
It's not because they respect or what, but i think they don't wanna get into behind the bars just because they're trying to argue with someone right?

hm... That's what human nature is for..
Without troubles, they won't be called human right?

Oh well....

My phone is filled with songs!! yay!
Nice... Makes you feel like just wanna let you dance around the ..... house! Not public excuse me!!
There's no way i will let myself dance or goofed around in the public but if i were dared to .... i guess why not?
=) lols!

erm.. holidays coming soon i guess...
Should i be happy?

A bit of sadness cos yesterday is my grandmother's first anniversary...
She died last year at my aunt's home.. And... I remembered i don't wanna stayed at home cos my 'n' levels is just around the corner and the teachers will probably do some revision but my mom ... she forced em to stayed at home and i've cried because if i weren't stayed at home, i wont be able to get to see my grandmother for the last time...
It feels weird without having her around the house..
Usually we would visit her but this year it felt like as if it's not the best raya i've ever had! ='(
sigh...
Be positive..!! =) *sigh*
Okay.. got to go now...
=)
Im done with making this blog alive... so its time for me to log out..

2011-09-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

A few days have passed and i felt like ...zz.zz.zz.zz.zz.

*sigh* if only i knew these truths earlier... I would have treat you the way that you should be treated..

So .. the person who's been spreading those rumors was you at all! Hm... And yet i thought it was other people.
So it was you all along!

And yet you said you loved her!

Bloody hell!

If i knew these would have happen...
I had already give you a piece of my mind..
Just because you're a star, does not meant that you can treat other people just the way you want..
And to tell you the truth..
I really really disappointed in you.. Cos all this time... i respected you.
From young till the day she left us.
Till the day you remarried again..
I respected you.
But this time i knew the truth!
Dun even think of me wanting to respect you.

When i look back to the past, i realized how stupid i've been to listen to what you were saying, to what you told me to do, played with you. God! To think of it!
I felt like i wanna punch you straight into those eyes!!!
You're getting old so why can't you do good things?
Instead you tried to flirt around?
Hey!!
Don't blame me for why i hated you..
You're no longer the person that i knew. You're no longer i wanna respect. You're no longer of who i wished to see ...
So.. even if you came, let's just treat each other as if we don't know alright?

Goodness! Oh my goodness!! I can't believe that you're the person who make my mom sad. Cried.
Bloody hell! If i knew that was you! You will just be punched by me on the spot dude!
Just because i'm a girl, does not mean that i can't do anything to protects my family rights! Other people does that, they felt guilty to come at their house but for you, no... You came and ask for tea.. then you changed your mind.! Can you don't be so picky?!!
And what's with the attitude? You? Asking me to sit right beside with you? Hey! I'm not that stupid little girl who will just follow whatever you say alright!
I'm a girl who's heart been broken because of those nasty attitudes alright!
And with these open wounds that aren't able to healed, i've become more stronger than i've ever.
I learnt not to give up! I learnt not to bear any grudges and that is what i did.
I can just forgive but i'm unable to forget.

Fcuk!
I thought only girls will spread those kinds of rumors but guys also the same?
tsk..tsk..

to think i respected you.?
=(
Trying to forget but unable to.
I can't help but to pour my heart out here. If only i could say this in front of your face!
But no. I just gave you an attitude.
=p
Now i have friends that make me smile everyday...
I'm no longer become a girl who just keep everything to herself...
I let my feelings out..

=D

Second day of hari raya...

2011-08-31T03:28:00.000-07:00

Hey there!
So...
Today's the second day of Hari Raya but it felt like nothing.....
why?
i don't know...

this year like got no mood to celebrate...
=(
hm...

nothing to say..
damn disappointed...

even if i talk, nobody will be able to hear my voice... am i right?

so i'll just shut my mouth then...
so that you won't be pissed off by what i'll be saying and i won't be heart broken by what you're trying to say...
*sigh*
being a girl is tough!

Cos it's like whatever you wanna say, you just have to keep everything inside your heart and only tears will come out to let them know your story.

that's what i did....

heart aches...
but what can i do?

i can't say anything. in fact i don't have the right to say anything... right?
so i kept my mouth shut in the day and just let tears flowing out from my eyes in the night where nobody sees it.
So.. in that way... i won't make you felt as if you wanna plunged me to those pressure and i won't too.
=)
So, everybody let's be happy!! It's Hari Raya!!! *sigh*

Miss my grandmother...
Miss my friend...
Miss everyone!!
=(
Let's move on.....

Hey! Guess what?! Tomorrow's Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2011-08-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there!!

I can't seem to wait!!

I'm ecstatic for tomorrow!!

One thing i can't forget is my loved ones ...

Just before Hari Raya....
Just a few days before ....
*sigh*

Oh well...
Let's move on shall we?

I would like to say....
*Malay mode*

Kepada semua kawan kawanku ....

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir dan Batin
Jikalau ada tersilap kata atau perbuatan yang tersinggungkan perasaan... harap dimaafkanlah...

Sekian Terima Kasih.. <3

*English mode*

To all my friends...
Happy Eid Mubarak!!
If i have hurt your feelings with my mouth filled with thorns or my stupid actions towards you guys, i hope that you guys can accept my apologies.

The End.. Thank you.
*******************************************************************************
Wow!
Can't believe that tomorrow is Hari Raya!
It seems so fast!!
Tomorrow will be the day that all of us have been waiting for...
And tomorrow's the day everyone will gather around you...
=)

Oh well..
Better turn in early tonight!
tomorrow need to wake up damn early..
=)
Good Night everyone!!
Sleep tight!
Dun let scary nightmares...
Scares you off at night!

2011-08-23T03:42:00.000-07:00

Hey there!!!
Another 7 more days till Hari Raya!!

=))

Okay..
So just now i had a theory test!!
For sport and wellness...
Fortunately...
teacher was there...

today lots of chaos going on around me..

seems like everyone's picking people around...

even though it's fasting month, there's some who don't fast.
excludes girls as they have excuses but for boys?

What kind of excuse would it be?

oh well..

Teacher's Day is coming soon..
And i'm still thinking about going back to my old school to visit my teachers..
Should i?
Hm...
I dun noe...

Lazy to go out..
Lazy to do anything...
Whatever i'm learning, can't seem to get into my head..
All i can think about was me.

Thinking how my life would be like if i never schooled ...
Thinking of my future..
Thinking of what i'm gonna do..

Andd,...
After thinking, then i can get those noises out of m head and insert it with another program.
=)
hm... sounds as if i'm a computer..
yup.
a human computer..
lols!

Ok..
this is so fucking random!
=)
^_^||
gonna log out soon..
write here soon!
=)

2011-08-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

hi...
hm..

*sigh*

i know people change.
i know now is different.
But please!

you just need to listen .
stop what you're doing and listen.

Some of your friends are in need and sometimes you aren't there to support them.

And yet you say you're their friend.

So much for being their friend.

It's funny.

i suddenly missed my grandmother.

this is gonna be her first anniversary .

i don't know why.
But i just missed her.

The feeling of when she depends on you.
Just missed ...

I missed doing all of the errands for her.
I miss teaching her how to read.
I miss massaging her...
I miss talking to her.
I miss fighting with her.
I miss doing everything with her.

I miss seeing dramas with her..
I miss shouting at her.
I miss playing with her.
I miss going out with her.

I miss her. =(

great!
My eyes are filled with tears..! =(

I miss how we used to be like.

I miss how she would wait for me to come home by the door from the school....
I miss her.
I miss trying to study with her keep appearing at the living room watching tv ...
I miss how i taught her how to wear the scarf .
I miss how i teach her how to recite some prayers.
In fact, i missed her so much that i'm not used to it.

tears keep pouring down and i've yet to wipe it all away...
*sigh*

I missed her..=(

2011-08-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hey there!

First thing first!

Hari Raya will be coming in a few more days!!!

How?
The...
heck..
am
i
suppose
to
help
my
mom
clear
out
the
stuff
in
the
house?

I missed all of my secondary school friends!! =*(

I missed the days that we spent together...
sigh.

My lesson starts at 1...
And now is only 9.13 am..
And the sky looks like it's gonna rain... anytime soon..
Is there any better day than this?
sigh.
the water will be colder!
currently listening to Boyfriend by Big Time Rush...
=)

Nice, catchy fun song!
=))
Ok..
Last tuesday, i've got practical test going on...
And i think i'm okay with it..
So after i finished i went home for awhile..
What do you expect me to do for the past 4 hours in school gurl?
Obviously i would go home urh...

Then went back to school for another lesson..
=)
hehe...
I'm not skipping any class ok!
So i attend all of my lesson on that day! <3

Yesterday....
Better not ...
=)

Okay...
Will write here soon okay!
=)

2011-08-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

Hey...
15 days had passed and left 15 more days to fast!!
Hm...
So fast!
I didn't even realise about it..

I'm pissed off.
Super duper pissed off.
Plus disappointed.

Double the disappointment.!
^>^
I wanna shout!
Shout it out loud !
To let them here my voice!

Hey!
I keep quiet not because of anything.
I'm too tired to say a word to you.
Everything that you promised me is just a lie!
Can you don't lie?
Can you please stop breaking your promises?

I'm getting too tired you know!

Other people also have made new friends but hey!
It seems that you chose the wrong friends!
And now you're turning like them too~

you don't like me saying to you?
Fine.
Then dun talk to me.
you don't like my face?
Fine. Treat me as if i'm not there!
But hey!
At the end of the day, it's just you and me. Trying to figure this matter out.
Hm..
All i know is, you're just a disappointment to me.
=(

2011-08-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

Hey....
A few days has passed and soon before you knew it, Hari Raya will be coming soon in just a few weeks time~

It's been a week now.

My mom transferred to tampines centre, for her treatment.
And, i suddenly felt, like. I missed my friends at AMK...
Especially one uncle.
He's an uncle that you guys don't wanna find fault with.
But at the same time, you feel the urge to talk to him. To help him.
To make them laugh.
He's quiet.
He's moody.
But after a few years there, i managed to make him feel fun!
It's like, i'm tired of seeing those aunties and uncles came in to the centre with a sad,tiring face.
Why not a face of a bit of happy..?
My mom cooked for them and sold it to them.
And everytime we sold the food to them, they will say how nice the food was and etc. But now when we're in tampines, even though, it's our home town, i felt strange there.

I can't make any friends cause there's nobody there except the patients and the nurses and the clerk.
So how>
What did i do for the past 4 hours there?

Listening to songs.
Playing games.

Listening to songs.
Play games.

And worse is i fasting.,
And the patients there was eating.
Great!
A challenge for me.
But unfortunately, i manage through.

Even though, staying at home was bored, i manage to pass through the time, and i manage to learn a few origamis.

A bow. Acat. A butterfly. A paper crane. A sail boat. A heart.
And i was happy.
Doing origami really really make me feel peace.
^_^!!

Plus today, i managed to make 2 biscuits!!!
happy or what?!!
=D
I made Chocolate Crunch.
I retransformed the old boring recipe to a new recipe.
Instead of boring, plain chocolate biscuit, i add in chocolate rice!
Anyway most of the kids, love nice stuff right?
Another one was, Suji.
I don't know how to translate it but i' ll describe it.

You just need, plain flour, baking powder,salt,icing sugar and some nuts. Grounded nuts.
Then you add a soft kind of butter or Ghee the you mix it all..
No need eggs!
Eggless!
Then you baked it in the oven till it's a bit of brown. Mind you, if it's all brown, it means.... you're... a ad cook!
Lols!

No! It eans, that your biscuit is overcooked/!
=)

Oh yeah!
Maybe tomorrow making Chocolate chips!
Yes!

Happy Fasting Everybody!! <3

2011-07-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

Selamat Berpuasa!1
Happy Fasting..

Hopefully, i can make it through..
Every task and every obstacle.
Even till i lose all my strength, just hoping i could make it through..

I don't wanna hurt by friends.
And i don't wish to.

I don't wanna see any fights, quarrels within my friends.
I don't wanna be there and witness all this and ended up with an open wound .
Left there unattended ...

Even though, i tried my best to advised my friend, they ignored.
But please, if anything happens, such as a big fights or what, just don't tell me.

Cos i don't wanna witnessed it.

And i don't wanna have an open wound in my heart.

Tomorrow start to fasts.
And i wished that all the Muslims people out there a Happy Fasting Month!
=)
So, i guess, need to go to sleep now.
Cos, tomorrow need to wake up early..
So, good night!
=)

tiny stars shining bright, now it' time to say goodnight.
so close your eyes and sleep tight.
dun let your nightmares fright you off at night!
good night people!!
=)

2011-07-31T02:46:00.000-07:00

*sigh*
Hey there.
*sigh*

Am i just some substitute?
Am i just someone you could dump off to the trash?
Am i important to you?
Gosh!
So now you have new friends.
So now you're ignoring me.
So now you're starting to pissing me off!

Remember the days that i helped you when our classmate trying to make you cry?
Remember the days, that you being insulted whenever the boy disturb you?

Who?
I wanna know who?

Who helped you through ?

You make me disappointed in you.
Yeah, thanks for everything.

I'm too tired to know whatever you did to your life.

It's yours not mine.
I'm tired of helping you up whenever you crumbles down.
Cos when i break down and cry.
You weren't there for me.

Thanks for everything.
I hope that after fasting month is over.
I'll hope that you will realise what i've done for you.
What i've helped you through.
Sorry, i can't find enough courage to say this to you.
But whatever it is, just let go of the bygones okay.
We're separating already. So you don't need to keep those grudges till you die ok.
You can called her and ask to settle it with you instead of shooting each other's guts!
I don't wanna lose our friendships either okay!
Favour.

Just do me one favour.
Whatever it is.
Keep all your thoughts to yourself.
=(
I don't want others to be hurt like how you hurt my feelings.
thanks.
=)

2011-07-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hey there!!
=)

Ramadhan is coming soon and then before you knew it the year ends and then a new year begins...
hm...

I'm worried
Worried about my friends.
Even though, they keep saying don't worry we'll settle the problem, but i still can't stop worrying.

How i wish, i could start all over again..
Cause now i know how tough it is in life.

When i was a kid, i used to think that when i grow up, i wanna be this and that.
When i was in primary school, i used to think that my life at that time, was easy.
When i was in secondary school, i used to think that finally. I could break free from all of this.
But when i go to higher education, then i realise how tough life is for me.
Can i press the rewind button please.?

Fasting month will be tough for me now.
I lost my grandmother and it's gonna be a year now.
She died during fasting month.
God knows how much i love her in a way that i cannot express it out to her.
If only, i could say those 3 words to her...
But it's too late..
Better treasure your loved ones..

2011-07-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

Hey there!
Erm...

Been trying to learn how to use that damn irritating sewing machine!
Fcuk!
I don't know how to use the machine..
I only know how to sew by hands.
Yup...
Andd...

I really ned to save up lots and lots of things..
If i had enough time, i will probably be making a bottle of hearts or jar of hearts..
=~)

I find that doing origami really make me feel calm and at peace.
And i find that within thee few origami-s that i learn, maybe i could gift someone of it..
got too goo.

2011-07-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!
Hello!!

Ok..
So, currently, i have done my project for lla thing. And i can go school ard 11 am!!

Syiok !!

Yes!
Wake up late !!
But only on that day itself!!

Yesterday, doing wire-wrapping...
Damn it's tough cos doing the wrapping itself can take me like an hour to do one circuit.

And...
looks like..
i must buy lots of things on saturday...
for ingredients mostly..
man...
thursday got small business management class...

ok..

One thing i don't like to do is to start up a conversation with people that i don't know.
But in business, to hell with those shyness and just talk to them as my friend.

Contributing ideas is definitely a group work. but if only one person brainstorming and the rest is slacking, there will be lots of things cock up last minute.

hm...

i'm kinda bored..

When boredom strikes...

2011-07-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

2011-07-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

Hey!!
Long time no write!
Lols!
Damn!
English... tsk..tsk..

Bad example!!

I need help!
Where or how can i overcome my fears of the deep water?
Seriously.
If i were to go for that course, i think i need to overcome it first!
But the problem was, i am damn scared of it lurh!!

Deep,deep water, please be kind to me ok..

Dun make me hate you.. >.
Arh!!
Need to overcome~~!!
Pressure,pressure~!!
Stress! >_

2011-07-20T03:04:00.000-07:00

Does love exist..?

Is it true that when you fell in love with someone, you're blinded by love?

Ya Allah!!

Please give my friends strength to cope this problem..

Give her some points or hints that he's worthy of her.

Cos to me, it's like he's a jerk!
**************************************************************************

Eyh boy!

Can you please go back to her house?
Favor urh..!!
Don't you know that she's been worrying about you!
Till she didn't eat>?
Eyh seriously favor!
Just go back!
Me, as her friend.
I tried to consoled her but seems like she's head over the heels for you and now that you're nowhere to be found, she's been left all alone!

She felt as if she's alone and seems like nobody's around to understand whatever she's feeling!!
So please, if you by chance saw this, please!
STOP making her worrying about you!!
You're not a kid anymore!
You're older than me and her!
But the way you're acting is like a 16 year old boy trying to have fun!
So please stop it!
**************************************************************************
Ignore this post above....
It's for my friend..
She's been worried sick about her*****
So, i 've been trying to advised her and she can't seem to be strong enough to overcome all this problem.
I can't say anything cause number 1. She's my friend.
Number 2. That guy is definitely not my type.
Number 3. I wish i could just bashed his face right when i saw him!

Serious!
I'm definitely pissed off by him!
my friend can't eat, sleep..
All because of thinking of him.
*sighs*
Bubbye!
Will update later!

Accidents do happen at home.

2011-07-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

yup..
like the title says: accidents do happen at home..

And it involves me.

Just yesterday, i fell in the kitchen...
Which is not so bad..
Then after that, when i was about to sleep, i accidentally bang my head at the side of the table.
When i woke up in the morning, which is today, i nearly slipped in the bathroom..

Went home after school...
Parents were sleeping..
I fell..
Landed on my bum!
Ok..
Not so bad.
Then i accidentally spilled something.
I clean it up..
And then i slipped and fall..
Now that was what i would say painful..
Tot my leg was gonna chop off or what?!

And wanna know something, during these accidents, my sister laughed at me!
Instead of helping me, she laughed at me!
What the heck!!

OMG!
I'm super duper clumsy!!
Today, during class, while the teacher is talking, i was listening.
Then when need to do the assignments.
That's where i started to be clumsy.
Yikes!
Clumsy clumsy!
Till my lecturer had to try to wake me up.. even though my eyes were open..
But then..
I do feel tired..
Everytime, i keep yawning in class..
And it's like every 5 minutes i yawned!
I don't know leh..
Is it just tired or i'm plain clumsy?
urh!!
Whatever it is ...
I have to focus on my studies..!!
Focus dalilah!
Focus!
Look forward!
Dun look backwards!
Hm..
oK..
Good Night people!
=)

Random..

2011-07-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

God!
If i could rewind everything, i would right now!
=(
Can't seem to sleep..
sigh..

Been researching for the upcoming projects...
I can't seem to understand you know..

It's like, everything i did, to you. Is wrong.
But on other people views, it is right.

Hey!
I cleared out on my own.
I never seek any help or whatever.
I'm alone doing the housework and all you can do is just keep scolding me..?
Eyh, i'm alone doing it leh..
Nobody help me and yet you can still say what did you do?
I did the sweep,mop and clean my room...
Is it not enough for you?
You just give me like what?
Half a day to do this thing.
And if got help, i don't mind but there's no help!
Dad went out and came home in the afternoon.
So, i'm the only one at home.
Clearing out this and that.
When you came back, all you can say is what did you do?
I'm so pissed off lurh!
I tried my best to make it spotless and smelt nice leh.
I tried my best!

And you know that i always end school late, and yet you can still told me to do this and that.
And whenever i sleep late, then wake up late for school, you scolded for me not taking on the initiative to set the alarm.
But hey!
You told me to do the dishes, set out the ingredients for you to cook tomorrow, then i have to recap whatever i've learn.
Not fair urh!

When i end early, i tried to help you with everything until i forgotten to do my homework.
Do you know that i'm always stressed up if i didn't do this.?
Then ended up, for the few last minute to midnight, i started to do my homework.
Clever right?!
From monday till today..
I've not rest ..
Rest to me means: Sitting down with peace. No one's around to make so much noise etc.
That's all.
But no, even i just lay my butt on to the sofa, you started shouting my name.
Then i have to rush over and over again.
It's like, never-ending cycle for me.
Damn sad urh..
Then when i'm too tired to do anything, you will still force me to do it.

And, when i go school, it's like peace.

But when i got home, no comments at all..

And whenever i have problems in school, i tends to keep quiet cos even if i told you about it..
It's like going into your right, came out on your left.
And when i wrote on a book, you say that why am i always writing in that book?
Hello!
It's a diary!
What do you expect?
Urh!

Favor urh..
Just please be nice .
I mean you're not evil bad or what but just please be my good friend like how other mother acts to their daughters and sons..
Just because we're 40 years apart does not meant that you can't be my friend.
Yup.
I know i'm 17 this year.
I do know that whatever i'm doing is my responsibility.
But if i ever had any problems, please be there for me to lend your ear to listen or your shoulder for me to lean on.
*******************************************************************************

And, i'm damn tired to even response to those who are surrounding me.
All i want is just some space to breathe!
Stop making feel suffocated all the time!! >_<|||
Can?
And i hate it when people keep asking me , so after ITE, where you wanna go?
Get married? Work?
Hey!
Firstly: Is that all you can think of? Marry?
Secondly: It's my life!
Thirdly: Why the heck do you wanna know?
Fourthly: Of course i would choose work urh!
Then i would continue to study again.
So, stop asking me all those nonsense question can?
=)
Good night everybody!

2011-07-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

Darn!

Is there any rewind button..??
Is there any dislike button?

Cause i need it right now!!
=(

Such an idiot...
Cos, i lost my voice!
Due to hanging out for so long...
Seems like i cannot stay out late these few days..
Cos every time i stay out late at night, the next morning, i'll get fever.
And ... Once the fever ok, my voice rocks!
No voice left and now my sister is having fun teasing me around!!
Damn you!
Bloody hell!!! >.

Andd!!! Andd!!

what to do?

One thing i don't like is that every time, doing projects, i'm the only girl... Who stressed up!?!
Andd when i have to present the project, i'll be too sick to present.

Like what the hell right?

Hmph!

My goodness!!
Yesterday got CAD practical...
Andd, when i was about to save my work....
It says error!!
At first, i thought i will lose all my work and thought it was some virus or what!
Then i tried to figure it out... And with my phone keeps on blinking... all thanks to my friend keep sending me messages asking me to hurry, i tried to solve it on my own. ^_^||
Yay!
Manage to reopen my work and i try to save it again!
Then i rush out to meet my friend.
After that, we went to meet another friend...
Cos yesterday were her birthddayy!!
Wanna know something?!
We were lost!
And we were just about to walk, my friend texted me to tell me that we should board on this bus instead of that bus..
To tell you the truth, i felt like wanna collapse sia!
The weather's too comfortable for me that i felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier..as we were walking towards the bus stop.
Hm...
Meet up and chit chat thn go back home..
=)
So, will update again ok?
Bubbye!
Good Night!
Oh yeah!
Any ideas on how to make an accessories that can be worn on to your body? (from head to toe)
I need to make for my project ...
Using recycled items!
=(
*good night*

2011-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Favor..

Just stop acting cold towards each other can?
You guys are my friends..
But favor urh...
Can don't bite each others guts out?

Why are you guys being this way?
It's tough..

Stop backstabbing can?
Stop giving cold war can?

Ok.
Easy.

Just stop biting each other's guts!

Thanks!
And do it quick ok!

2011-07-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness!!
The weather damn hot!
And i've got to go to school in the afternoon!
Syikes!

I wonder why can't it be shifted in the morning.?

In the afternoon?
yikes!
With this kind of warm weather?
yikes!
triple yikes!

Woah..

I showered thrice okay!

And still, it's hot!!
I suspect that it's gonna rain..
I think so...

Or maybe hopefully rain..

Ok!!

Need to get ready,.!!
Cos i need to go to school ard 12..
Start at 1..
Took me half an hour to reach to school..
And 15 minutes to wait... That's the maximum time i have to wait.
Ok..Ok...

Hey...
If you guys are interested in science, feel free to go to these blog..
www.majesticscience.blogspot.com
Ok?

Bubbyye!!
Read well!
=D

2011-07-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

hm...
Feels like wanna cry...

Hm...
Everyday school ends late..
Later than ever!

It sucks!

Cos when you're tired, you can't seem to do anything. At all!

And, i hate people saying that they don't like this person, but still be friends with them.
Cos the consequences is: hurt. Hey, you'll probably get hurt by each others. So, instead, get away by each other. right.?

I'm rarely contacted my other friends because i was too tired after school and i was so lazy to call or message or replying their emails. Basically, i'll just, lie down n listen to music and try to get away from other things.

And also, i felt like this kind of friendship is known as backstabbing.
And, that is the most ugliest part of friendship.
And i don't like it at all.
Cos it hurts.
It feels like a thousand, no make it ten thousands, thorns speared through your chest and also feels like you're choking to death.

But in the end, you finally get through it.

And then, the whole process of the cycle begins again, keep repeating.

*sigh*
you know what?
My whole body is aching and i think I'm running a fever. yikes! it sucks!
Maybe because i ' m too tired ..?
Oh well...
I better stay focused in my studies!!!
Can't afford to fail!
=(
Good night everyone! =*)

2011-07-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

=(
God!
Why are you trying to hurt other people feelings even though they did not hurt yours!?!

Why..?
Why..?

Yup.
Seems like the situation is still the same.
Even if i never befriended with you again, it does not seem to stop you from hurting my feelings.
I can't be bothered to let the lecturers know. Cause to me, this seems like stupid.!

A stupid matter! So, why should i even bother to complain? or letting a third person know.?

Whatever urh!

All i know now is that you're a cold person!
What i meant is, you hurt people feelings and you LOVE it.
Are you even human?
Wait... Are you a man?
A guy for sure won't do this kind of stupid things to get a girl's attention.
A guy won't hurt a girl's feelings.
A guy won't criticize on girls based on their looks, size and their personalities.

That is called a real guy.

But seems like, you're not a guy.
You're a fake guy!

Oh well!
Even when the teachers tried to advised you, it goes like : goes into your right and goes out by your left.
Hm..
Maybe, that's why....

Oh well!
I'm a bit hurt because of that.
I'm a bit hurt because of your attitude.
But to me, do you even care about other people feelings?
No!
So, i know if i were to tell this to you, it would just be a waste of my breath. So, instead of saying, i'll just write it down here.

Not to let the whole world knows or whatever, but to pour my heart out .
No offense.

2011-07-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

Fiiissshh!!!

fcuk!

I only want 1 thing...

Help me?
By just shut your mouth up tomorrow!

And i wish that, you would stop seeking attention!

Grow up!

=(

I don't know whether i can still be friends with you or not.!
I don't know whether i can trust you as my classmate..!
I don't know whether you can be responsible as a class chairman !

I don't know!

Attitude sucks!
=p

Facing tomorrow with a smile even though it's broken.

2011-07-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

*sigh*
Can't believe that my whole 1 month holiday is coming to an end...
I still can't believe that i have to go to school on monday...
*sigh*
Can i don't go.?

Pergi ke sekolah dengan menghadapi cabaran2 yang sungguh menyakitkan hati.

* Going to school to face all of the obstacles which will lead to broken hearts...
sigh...

Now that 1 term is gone so fast, should i befriends with you again..?

Waaiitt!!

If i be friends with you, i' ll probably get hurt again and again.
Of course that people always say that, friendship involves lots of quarrels and fights but if someone ends up getting hurt... That's a different story..
So, now what..?

Can i befriends with you again.?
That's the question that comes into my mind...

So, the answer is..?

*************************************

My friend, sorry not to tell you about that choice...
Ok..
I think that i won't be going cos this year will be filled with other friends.
I don't wanna compete.
And i don't wanna be transfered to another school..
So, hope euu understand..
And i'm sorry.
Thanks for giving all those encouragements but i don't think i can make it this year..
So sorry to disappoint you...
=(
If i am free, i will help out at my school.. ok?
So sorry for the inconvenience!
=[
***********************************************
Confusion, confusions,PLEASE go away..
Let peace comes to my mind...
My mind is noisy right now!
It's filled up with lots of noises!
Words of words that i can't seem to understand!
All i could say is i really really miss my friends and my grandmother!
I really miss them lots!
*sigh*
Wish that everything will be alright tomorrow!

2011-07-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

Hello!!
Long time never write ....
i'm bored to the max.
But, unfortunately, today i'm going out.
sheesh!
It feels weird though.
Cos . i felt like, damn lazy to go out ready. but at the same time, i felt bored to death.
Hm...
Ok..ok..
so yup. today going out..
But that does not meant, i could run away from my phone!!
My mom will called to check on me everytime. And i mean everytime.
Yikes!
It's like, i'm being controlled ..
And i felt like i'm a walking dead or a robot. Cos all this while i've been listening to what my parents have been talking and ordering me around.
yes, i know that whatever it is my parents are doing something good for me.
But hey! It's my life!
So, i think, and think, and think. That after schol reopens , i have to study harder. I have to pass. Because, if i don't, i will just let my efforts go to waste.
So jia you!
=)
Ok.. gonna log out now..

2011-07-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

Yikes!
Ok..
Ok..
So i passed my First year examination..
Looks like i have to try harder if i m aiming for polytechnics
^>^||
hm..
Boredom, boredom!!
Please be gone!!
ok..
=)
Good night!
very tired..
and sleepy..

I made it!!

2011-06-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

Guys!!
Finally i made it!!
The paper crane..!!
Wee!!
Damn happy!!

Mother knows the best!

But need a lot of patience ..
Luckily, i can take it or else, you will find the unsuccessful cranes,flying around my room..
Yippiee!

Ok..
=)
bubbye!

Continuing on my cranes..

2011-06-26T20:11:00.001-07:00

Okay.
So i'm bored.
And, i'm at home.
Great!
Just great!

Looking out at the window, i can see lots of students walking lazily to school.
Is secondary school life's tough?
Wanna change with me? lols!

I wanna go out.
But some of my friends are not free so looks like, i'll be staying at home for this 2 whole weeks
*sigh*

Ok..ok..
Till here ok..

**BlueGurl's Story**