My Reflection

Hey, if you guys are wondering what this post is all about, yeah, it's all about my reflection..

Whatever happens during this year..
So here it goes...
2010 September

During this month was much stressful for me as i'll be having my N level.
In just a few days only.
Plus, my grandmother was sick due to being old.
So okay.
Enough of that, move on.
Got a call just as i was about to lay my head onto my pillow.
Found out that my grandmother were in critical condition that night.
The next day was a revision day for me.
So, yup. I was kind of uptight about it.
Till now i regret it.
My mum insist on not letting me to go to school no matter how hard i tried persuading her that this is about my life, studies and so on.
So in the end, i did not go. I skipped school.
Because i found out a few hours later around 5 am in the morning, she passed away.
yup. she left this world.
To make it worse, she remembered my family.

Since then, i just keep on going even though i'm tired, i just continue what i  am suppose to do cause i know that is what she would want me to.
She left without seeing my certificate. She left without seeing how happy i was to get my results.
Or sad.
Cause, i flunked my weakest subject.
Sigh.

2011 January
Yup, i still can't get over her cause it just too sudden for me to realize it.
No matter how hard i tried, the past is so powerful that it makes me different.
I mean, i felt different.
And i know that all of this feeling, i have to make it stop.
Cause i will only get hurt ..
In the end, i pushed myself towards studying.
Trying hard to make it well.
When i get the results, which i passed..
I was just too sad, that i cried myself to sleep that night, cause i felt bad.
I felt selfish.
I keep thinking and doubting myself.
Fortunately, i had my friends to whom i can talk to.=)
Thanks girls!
=)

2012 January
So, New Year again.
It's been almost 2 years since she left.
God knows how much i loved her.
Despite being a nuisance, i remembered everything me and her did together.
Whenever she sick, whenever she stays in my house, i'll be the one who sends her off to see the doctor,
i remember how i taught her to recite some prayers.
You know what, since then, i quit my religious class.
Yeah,  i can't seem to continue with all these memories with her.
Till my parents lectured me to read the book, and etc.
I just listen to their lecture, but all i can think of was just wanting to go into my room and cry.
Don't they know how hard it is for me to do all this when i slept in the same room where she slept.?
Where i help her.?
Sigh..

2012 June
It's been long .
I've redecorated my room.
I've done lots of things to the room.
But still i can't deny that i missed her at times.
Whenever we,celebrates Grandparent's Day, i will feel disheartened as i realize that she's no longer around.
So, cut the story short, i've decided that i should just forget about my past.
By studying hard as i could, it actually throws off those unwanted memories of mine.
Yeah, at times was hard cause i slept in the exact room that she used to sleep.
But now i'm over it.
Maybe i should just try something new.
=)
Jia you! \^_^/