The only way that i could make use of this time is just to focus on things that are happening right now.

Hey you.
You know who you are. i know that was probably a surprise text you had received from me. I can't deny that i really want my future to be with you. But yet at the same time, i'm looking at the current situation right now. You know what i meant right? Soulmate and death is all in God's hand i know. Fate. Destiny. I know... But as much as i want to ignore all that. My parents. They're not getting younger . They're getting older and as harsh as it may seems, they are not going to live forever you know. Right now, i'm just following the flow. Whatever happens, happens. But please. Don't ever give up on me. On us. You've made the promise. You know what you promised me. The songs that you've written, does it not have any meanings to what your heart is saying? Prove to me that you can do that. Prove to me that you mean what you say.  I know you. I know you're not the type who gives up easily. Are you tired of me ? Are you? Let me know what i can change for better. Don't leave me hanging for a moment and ended up we're both at our ends and ended up argue. I would be lying if we don't argue and in relationships won't have any arguments. Don't you think we should meet up and talk instead of text? Honestly, the feeling of not being able to text you and you being on my mind really sucks. Sucks to the core. Trying hard to focus on other things like reading through my notes and do some other stuff and yet whenever there is a pause, you'd be appearing in my mind. I'm giving you time to think it thoroughly. I'm still here for you to talk to me. Think about the future. Think financially and stability. I know there'll be struggles and hardships but heck, whichever relationships that doesn't go through that shits? Just to let you know, i miss you. This morning, woke up and realizing what happen and not being able to text you due to in need of giving you the time to think thoroughly. Just lying around in bed lazing and snoozing due to rainy weather. Afternoon pass by as fast as it could. I kept myself busy with organizing my stuff and reading and playing games. Towards the evening, that's when it hits me. I did not texted you the whole day. And when i think about it, it sucks really. Only God knows how much I've missed you. This feeling. This emotions that i'm feeling right now just makes me feel like running away. Running away from all this reality. But dear self, can i run away from my fate and destiny?

Second day of hari raya...

Hey there!
So...
Today's the second day of Hari Raya but it felt like nothing.....
why?
i don't know...

this year like got no mood to celebrate...
=(
hm...

nothing to say..
damn disappointed...

even if i talk, nobody will be able to hear my voice... am i right?

so i'll just shut my mouth then...
so that you won't be pissed off by what i'll be saying and i won't be heart broken by what you're trying to say...
*sigh*
being a girl is tough!

Cos it's like whatever you wanna say, you just have to keep everything inside your  heart and only tears will come out to let them know your story.

that's what i did....

heart aches...
but what can i do?

i can't say anything. in fact i don't have the right to say anything... right?
so i kept my mouth shut in the day and just let tears flowing out from my eyes in the night where nobody sees it.
So.. in that way... i won't make you felt as if you wanna plunged me to those pressure and i won't too.
=)
So, everybody let's be happy!! It's Hari Raya!!! *sigh*

Miss my grandmother...
Miss my friend...
Miss everyone!!
=(
Let's move on.....

Hello there..
Hm..
I' m listening to a song..
And somehow it caught my weakness..
The song brought me back to my memories of my grandparents,my aunts and uncles, my grandmother and whatever that we've been through.. as a family.
Lots of things happen lately...
But i tends to just stay focus in my studies..
Just recently, one of my relative died due to heart attack...?? Mayb..?
I didn't visit as i was schooling that day.
But somehow i sensed something was wrong..
Then i found out...
Lots of thing to do and to submit..
Hmph!
Tired...
Extremely tired...
Tomorrow meeting my friends!!
it's been a year since we've met!!
Oh my gosh!
I miss all those times we shared!!
=-(
I felt as if i wanna run away from all of the problems...
But if i ran away, who will solve it for me..??
My parents..?
My friends..??
I can't!
I can't just give up!
I' ve got to move on!!
I can't seem to overcome my fears.
Yup.
Sea-watching made me feel  even worse than a person who feared for a ghost..
So how..??
How to overcome it..?
Seeing the big drain with water or river had made me feel scared what about sea..??
Hwaah!!
I can't imagine it anymore!!
Can't take it..
=-(
Can i don't go...??
I want but i feared..
Should i just follow my heart and go or hold back and stay at home..??
Ok..
This is all i can say..
It's 8.32p.m
and i'm signing off!!
Bubbye!!
Annnddd!!
GOOD NIGHT!!