Can't believe it!

yikes!
School's opening soon..=(
great!
just as i was about to have fun staying at home etc then i have to think about school...
why urh..?
Why the past 2 weeks ago, i don't feel any excitement on going to school until the last week of the holiday..?
thanks urh!
=(
****************************************************************************
looks like i really have to organize my notes!
=))
colorful pens are waiting for me to use them!

Currently listening to : Demi Lovato- Give your heart a break..

Listening on my ipod: CN Blue: I'm A Loner..
even though it's an old song, it really is good.. =)

bubbye!
off to organize my pens!
=)

Hey there!

First thing first!

Hari Raya will be coming in a few more days!!!

How?
The...
heck..
am
i
suppose
to
help
my
mom
clear
out
the
stuff
in
the
house?

I missed all of my secondary school friends!! =*(

I missed the days that we spent together...
sigh.

My lesson starts at 1...
And now is only 9.13 am..
And the sky looks like it's gonna rain... anytime soon..
Is there any better day than this?
sigh.
the water will be colder!
currently listening to Boyfriend by Big Time Rush...
=)

Nice, catchy fun song!
=))
Ok..
Last tuesday, i've got practical test going on...
And i think i'm okay with it..
So after i finished i went home for awhile..
What do you expect me to do for the past 4 hours in school gurl?
Obviously i would go home urh...

Then went back to school for another lesson..
=)
hehe...
I'm not skipping any class ok!
So i attend all of my lesson on that day! <3

Yesterday....
Better not ...
=)

Okay...
Will write here soon okay!
=)

Yesterday is past.. Tomorrow is present...
That's what i always heard.
But if possible, can we really forget the past..??
I wonder who invent this saying.
But anyway..
It is a part of life..
Yesterday... One word to describe..
Noisy.
Actually 2 words.
Noisy and Irritating.
Will you be irritated if the whole day someone sitting down next to you keep nagging about her life etc.?
Will you be irritated if your father or whoever invited people over but ended up they never clear up the mess that they've created?
I was so pissed off!!
Cos yesterday, i spent my time clearing out the mess and sweeping the floor. Mopping the floor... Clearing out the trashes.
And then suddenly when i just wanna  rest. Just gonna seat down. My father switches on the karaoke set. Invite a few people to come over.
Waliao!
My mom was so pissed off.
She nagged. And nagged. Until my sister reached home.
The first thing i asked to my sister. The first question was" Wanna go out?"
And the reason was i can't take it. I can't sit at home trying to rest when my mom is making so much noise while my dad is singing even though at times he sounds like a ....
Just when we gonna go out, mom called me and told me to go and cooked this and that. I was like"Oh my goodness! I've done clearing up everything and then you told me to cooked?"
But those words i never say it to her. She's the type which if you talked back to her, she will take it to the heart.
And then she will start to make the house flood. Filled with tears.
Urh!
When i'm done. She can still say" You wanna go out arh?" Me and my sis cannot take it and so we went out.
Had no idea where to go cos we just went out and follow where our feet are taking us...
And so..
Destinations: IKEA
                    Courts
then home.?
Nope.
Went to Tampines 1.
Then home.
Reach home at about 9pm?
About time cos my shoes...
The soles beneath...
Came off..
And so i walked like a total idiot...
Cos it's very uncomfortable to walk cos it feels like there's something stuck at the bottom of your shoes.
Went home..
Watch tv..
Sleep!!
I should try to overcome my fears.. (like real)
But i should!
Till when am i supposed to be afraid of the sea?
Had no idea what to wear..
And ...
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT YESTERDAY WAS CHRISTMAS!!!
Nice!
Didn't even realize that it was christmas till i've received a message from my friend wishing me "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"
=)
Okay..
Got to go..
Will update later..
I just realized something..
I can type and i can write but i can never talked as much as what i've written..
=x
Okay..
Bubbye! =D

Hey there!

It rained again...

Hm..

Somehow i would like to cuddled up to my bed and sleep soundly as if nothing is wrong..

But then how am i suppose to sleep when i am worrying about getting my result?

Hm...

Just wish that i would not have done badly...

Rain...

Rain....

Go Away!

Come again another day!

It's freezing even though i did not switch on the fan!!

The floor tiles are as if made up of ice and i really think that i should get something hot to drink..

Hm...

Rain will only make me sleep...

Heartbroken? lols! xD

No way!

Being single is the bestest way ever!

Freed from any bf or gf..

So....

I think that's all i can update...

_____________________________________________

I miss my grandmother!

I really do.

It's the day that i will never  ever forget!

Just a few more days left to Hari Raya Aidilfitri..

And she left.

I'm sad.

It took me quite some time to get used to not having her around anymore.

It's quite hard.

But life has to go on...

With the help of my friends..

I managed to stabilized myself.

It's quite traumatic to me bcos one by one the person that i loved and treasured the most suddenly gone!

Like air!

A balloon burst in the air!

But my friends, they've really been there for me.

And i really appreciate it very much..

But now.

Right now..

 I suddenly missed my grandmother.

=(

Can't seem to forget her..

Since the death of my grandmother, my father's sibling never called on us.

Never asked any questions..

To me...

It seems like they were getting on their lives but to me..

How can you guys get on with your lives when our grandmother just left us like that!

Without saying goodbyes!

Cousins!

That's what i'm suppose to call you guys but you guys aren't treating me like a part of your relatives.

You guys treating me like a stranger!

What the hell is wrong!

Up till now.

I still don't know your name.

Even though during occasions i visited your houses..

I don't know who the hell are you.

I'm sorry.

But this is just how my life works.

I've never talked to you unless i have to.

I've never go out with you.

I've never known you ....

Is this what relations are supposed to be?

Blame it on our parents?

I still make an effort to know each and everyone of you.

But I can't seem to get it into my head.

It's confusing!

Even if i were to talk to you girls...

Yu girls will probably asked me whether am i or am i not in any relationships!

What the hell!!

Mind your own business!!

And if guys!

Oh My God!

You guys will probably talked about girls!

Yuck!

Blueqqq!!

Get a life!

Stop behaving like jerks!

You guys likes to compare each other!

Whatever for?

Nobody's perfect for goodness' sakes!

Each and everyone of us have one or two disabilities!

So, STOP  Comparing!!!

Seriously..

Are you guys really my cousins?(father's side)

(I will just try to move on ... )

(If we were to meet, just treat me like a stranger)

(For that is what you guys are capable of)

(Next time, mind your own business)!!

_________________________________________________________________________

Tick.. tock..

tick...tock..

The sound of the grandfather's clock..

It's been working for quite some time now..

It is filled with all of my childhood memories and of course all of my family histories...

From the village my mother grew up till now...

The clock has been working very well..

_____________________________

OKAY!!!!

Update to u guys later?

(i'm lazy..)

I just wanna snuggle up to my bed and have a good rest)

Erm..

Urm..

Oyasumnisae!

Annyeonghijumushipseyo!

Early night!

Hello!!!

Good Afternoon!!!~

Hm...

Today's date: 6 of December...

Will be counting down till getting my results!!!

Argh!!

Speaking about results, can i don't take?

Can i?

The feelings can't be explained..

But everyday, my heart will be thumping quite hard as the day approaches....

OMG!!

Scary!!!!

Can i don't take it?

Hwaaahhh~~~~~

Right now, my heart is beating faster and faster as if it could just jump out from my chest!!

Is this what you called nervous?

Argh!!

What to do?

17 December is the date.!

Oh No!!

No Way! No Way!!

Right now, i felt as if i'm twirling around in circles and everything came crushing down on me...

So, what am i suppose to do?

What should i do?

?????

Urgh!!!!

I can't even think anything good now!!!

All i know is that i felt like i wanna scream!!

Scream for fear!

=(

Yeah. Big frown is shown..

And i've yet to find my school uniform..

I had no idea where i put it..

lols!

But it's the fact!

I had no idea where i put it.

I'm messy but organized!=)

Hmph!

Okay...

Got to go now!

Need to find my school uniform..

And also my stomachs growling so ...

Gonna eat something first then proceed on to finding my uniform!!!

Plus my white socks! =P

LOL!!!

Okay!!

Will probably update later?

Bubbye!!

Can i just give up.?

Give up on everything?

Yeah. I don't have enough courage to tell you this straight into your face.

You are just selfish!

Selfish..

Don't want me to be like others.

You just wish that  i would just stay to be with you at your side for 24 hours.

Then tell me.

What will my future be?

What am i suppose to do if .........?

I felt like i'm struggling in the water for fear of being drowned.

I felt like i'm being kept in the dark and just waiting for someone who would take forever to rescue me.

But these are only how i felt.

What am i ?

Really?

Some kind of a 20th century cinderella?

No!

Whenever someone makes a mistake, you blamed me for it.

Even though it's not my doing.

Even if it is my doings you would still blamed me.

This is not fair!

You're just a moron!

And stop acting like one too!!!

_______________________________________________________________________

Hey!!

Yesterday went out with my friend..

RX..

OMG! I didn't even realize that  too!!

So please lurh..

Dun make me lose my face can or not?*

Went home around ??

I reached home around...

18:58...

2 more minutes and i will be late...

=(

Yup.

A big frown is given....

Yup.

I'm sad..

I'm angry..

Mixed up..

Angriness and sadness overtook my heart.

Can i just rewind everything?

Rewind my life?

Rewind from the beginning of my life?

Cos i think i need to.

hm...

Silence is just what i really really need...

Yup.

I feared for thinking that i would left drowned with nobody to help .

But..

That does not mean that i'll give up!

I won't give up just like that!

Words can't bring me down!

So...

Take a breath!

Take it deep..

And then calm yourself ...

Just relax!

Okay then!

My sense is telling me that it will rain soon..!!

No!!!!!!!!!

I don't wanna rain!!

Rain...

Rain...

Go away...

Come again....

Another day...!!!

Okay..

Got to go now!

=*(

=*(

Is there any way that i can just rewind my life?
Cos i really really need it..
Somehow i miss my grandmother...
Somehow i miss my Aunt...
Somehow i just miss them all!!!
Can i rewind?
Rewind and try to do better than what i' m doing now? 
Confusing, yes!
Tiring!!
Tired!
Tired!
Do you know what's the definition of tired ?
:p
I am tired.
Tired of doing the same routine every single day!!!
Can we have a change of routines???
At least once!
Basically, today i cleaned up the refrigerator..
Which is okay..
Not too tough..
Not too easy..
But supremely tiring!!
Tired!!!
Is there any way that i can don't feel tired??
Excluding sleeping or taking a nap.
cos i can't sleep during the days especially when i woke up ard 7 in the morning.!!!
Once i'm awake, there's no way i can return to my dreamland!!
Yes, I'M still confused!
Confused by you!
=X

Erm..

I think i regretted liao.

Cos...

Thanks to my big mouth!

I shouldn't have asked October end so soon..

Cos no i'll have to bear the consequences..

Yup.

Taking my 'N' level result.

Urh!

Is there a way, that i can just don't take it!?

Hm.

=(

I wanna know but at the same time, my heart can't seem to follow what my mind is thinking..

So how?

Now what?

Huh. -_-!

Urm...

Feelings?

Totally mixed up..

I barely had any idea what is it up to..

Friends!

If that's what you want me to call you.

Can you please stop bugging me!

Asking lots of questions...!!

Cos i hate it!

I'm not an answering machine!

I'm just a human!

And i 'm stating the facts!

Where were you guys when i need you?

Where were you guys

You are my friend, my neighbour.

So, why you treat me like a piece of!!!!!!!!!

You told me you were my FRIEND.

Okay.

I take it you are.

But then now..

Right now, when i think it over again, you are NOT  my FRIEND cos my FRIENDS  won't treat me this way and they won't hurt me in any other way.

Won't try to hurt me in such a way that i would hate you!

So, sorry.

But you are not my friend.

I'm sorry to tell you like this.

I know that it's stupid but i can't find enough courage to tell you.

Cos if i do, i had no idea which gang would you bring to find me.

So, now, girl.

I'm not your friend.

We are strangers even though we are neighbours.

We are not friends even if we were to bump on to each other.

I'm sorry but my heart can't take it to think how you treat me this way.

I have to break off this friendship with you.

Yeah, i'm such a foolish girl to be your friend.

So now, i'm still me.

You can't change me!

I guess that's it then!

_____________________________________________________

Okay!

Ignore the top  if you want to . Cos i'm just writing this...

To clear out my throat.

I guess.

I really really  scared to know the results.

If i were to fail?

If i were to .......

huh!

(sigh)

Right now, in my mind, little voices are saying to me telling mr to give up.

But i just can't give up right now am i right?

I can't~

What am i doing?

I should have put more efforts to it.

I should have studied more.

But, it's too late.

What goes around will come around.

Okay then..

Guess this is it..

Bubbye! 

Will update to you later!

Sayonara!

Adios!

Good Bye!