#thrash talk again.. im sorry

I  can''t get rid of those flashbacks!
It's like playing in my mind again even though i'm not sleeping.
What is wrong?
Why does all this flashback keep on coming back?
Why now?
All these questions that leads to no answer.
Is it because i've been holding on to the past?

I don't understand.
What's playing in my mind was:
My house having a ceremony. It's like to pray for the dead. My late grandmother locks herself in the room. I was saying somethings. My granduncle looks at me and motioned me to keep quiet. I cannot remember clearly what's going on. But those words that he had said is playing in my head right now.
I remember my aunt saying somethings about me to my parents. I don't understand. What does all this means?
All these weird dreams and stuff. Why is it happening now..?
Why not later or better yet after i'm done with studies..?

Honestly i felt like giving up. I don't know why.
I had a talk with my friend last night and we're talking about how will each other react if one of us go off first..?

And i keep hearing a soft, faint ringing sound. =(
I don't know what it is but hopefully i get all the answers.
I cannot relate to you guys how i felt yesterday night. I felt shaken. I felt lost. I felt sad. And also confused.
I want to know the answer but how..?
I'll get by. I'll just have to figure it out.

Sorry for the update guys. I just need to thrashtalk here.