it's just a rant/thoughts.

"the more you keep quiet, the more they tend to be big"

1 thing about Hari Raya is that, i will see all the faces that i have not seen for throughout the years. Thus it's been said Hari Raya is once a year. 

What annoys me the most is that those relatives that i never see them for the past God knows how many months and years came and completely ignore us. The owner of the house. Imagine this.

You entertaining your guests but ended up your guests are having their own conversation and also talking among themselves. How do you feel as the owner of the house and as a relative? I tried to make an effort but yeah. I guess because i never talk that much or i never mix around with people that much that is why i find it socially awkward being with them. Even my voice can't be heard by others what about them? 

" the more i tried to be less care about people, the more it affects me."

I tried to not to be bothered by people with attitudes and etc. But the effect of having that mindset of "can't be bothered and i don't give a damn" is making me feel more drained. Being who i was back then was so much lively and fun and adventurous. Being who i am now, after looking and much thinking of what people might think of me, what society wants and the age that we're living in, i find myself draining too much energy. 

"the more i tried to be perfect, the more i failed to be"

Perfect. Being perfect is somewhat i would personally want to be. But the process of being perfect is so tiring and yet demanding at the same time. To the extent of i don't get why would i want to be perfect? Why wouldn't i be in my comfort zone? But yeah, it's true that we should get out of our comfort zone but honestly, the outside world is much more harsh and so zombie-ish! I find that being perfect is just a meh. The more mistakes i made, the more i get  to learn from it. With that, i'm good with both sides. \(>_<)~

Last but not least..

Selamat Hari Raya to all muslim friends and have a good day to the rest of you readers!