rant/thrashtalk..?

July,
Within a month, I've lost 2-3 person that I'm closed with. Can i just say that July is just another bittersweet memory month..?

July.
The season of Hari Raya this year.
What an eye opener for me to see how many ignorant people there are.
Sadly to say,  I am one of those ignorant.
Seeking forgiveness on the start of the day seems impossible for me.

I'm being disrespect..?
How bout you?
Those words and replies you've thrown to someone who's older than you.
The one who keep on defending for you despite the fact that you're wrong.
Despite the fact you're the eldest and yet you're acting like my age here.
That person still defends you and loved you.

The fight and arguments that we've faced today.
I  find it funny though cause you're the one who's being disrespectful here. And me, in my position have the rights to shout at you as a sister cause you, being the eldest just don't get it do you?
For all those words that you've said to our parents, do you even think twice..?
You don't. I shouted at you just once today. And all you did was giving me a stare and a shocked.
Who's being a victim here? You or me? You accuse me of being disrespectful. But how do you expect me to respect someone that never had any respect for parents.?
So now, I'm telling you. Think of what you've said to Mum and Dad. Let those voices run through your mind. Let those scenarios playing through your head.
I  had enough of your nonsense. You've been looking down on me ever since I've graduated from secondary school.
You were never proud of me. Not once. Cause in your eyes, i was never perfect.