thrashtalk September and October

So hi.
I'm in need of motivation and inspiration.
Where am i suppose to get inspiration?
Been searching for songs that pump my creative senses out but still i find that i'm lacking of something.
Truthfully, i find it tiring to be in an environment whereby people that i'm surrounded with lacks of motivation.
True, having money in your hands are the only way that can motivate you but till when?
I find that life is too short to always earn money.
I mean, yeah true to the a saying that money can't buy happiness but it does can buy you things to make you happy right? But until when?
Currently, yes I find myself tired. Tired due to being quiet. Tired of not being able to speak up.
But i realize that whenever i tried to speak up, it makes one or the other party not being happy.
Is it voicing out letting the truth out really that hard?
Ever since then, in the environment that i'm in, i just keep quiet. For the sake of being happy at work with colleagues. For not having any bad terms with my colleagues.
But its tiring! And because of that, i keep on losing my motivation. Even money doesn't appease me or interest me anymore.
All i want is to be able to express myself out and also to have a good terms with both parties without getting their feelings hurt.
For now, getting some songs and using up my paints will probably help me in finding that inspiration.
Boy, i missed you.